Comments on: On Raising a Three-Child Family http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/ Live intentionally. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 08:30:06 +0000 hourly 1 By: Margaret http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-167039 Margaret Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:23:27 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-167039 We are an adoptive family. I have two sons aged 5y/1m and 5y/6m - we are getting ready (we think) to add a third and are researching the dynamic of a 3 child family. Many of the reasons for saying no to one more make a lot of sense. But I keep thinking to myself that someone is missing. We are not complete yet. In another article I read about 3's the woman wrote "our first child made us parents, our second child made us a family and our third child made us complete." This hit home with me. In our circumstance we are adopting through our foster system and due to race and other factors we have a lot of choices in who the next child will be. We get to choose gender, age range, number of children. So after a lot of thought about the fit of the next child we are going to request a girl in the 0-4 year range... hoping for a toddler as both my boys were toddlers and I loved that stage. Where we are struggling now is do we really need to add another? Are we being naive about how our family will change when adding another child? And here I am reading every detail of your article and more. thank you for the writing. I really appreciate it. We are an adoptive family. I have two sons aged 5y/1m and 5y/6m – we are getting ready (we think) to add a third and are researching the dynamic of a 3 child family. Many of the reasons for saying no to one more make a lot of sense. But I keep thinking to myself that someone is missing. We are not complete yet. In another article I read about 3′s the woman wrote “our first child made us parents, our second child made us a family and our third child made us complete.” This hit home with me. In our circumstance we are adopting through our foster system and due to race and other factors we have a lot of choices in who the next child will be. We get to choose gender, age range, number of children. So after a lot of thought about the fit of the next child we are going to request a girl in the 0-4 year range… hoping for a toddler as both my boys were toddlers and I loved that stage. Where we are struggling now is do we really need to add another? Are we being naive about how our family will change when adding another child? And here I am reading every detail of your article and more. thank you for the writing. I really appreciate it.

]]> By: Robin http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-163053 Robin Thu, 12 Jan 2012 05:15:52 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-163053 Good luck, Caro!! I wrote this a while back. My oldest is just days shy of six now, my second girl is four and my "baby" will be two in a month. I can report that the cleaning has gotten easier, they find me when they need me for one-on-one, and it really, truly all works. Plus, they have each other -- so much of why they don't need a ton from me is because they care for each other. When my boy bumps his head and I'm clear across the kitchen but one of his sisters is right there, he'll ask *her* for a kiss to make it better. And there is nothing sweeter in the world. You'll be great!! Good luck, Caro!! I wrote this a while back. My oldest is just days shy of six now, my second girl is four and my “baby” will be two in a month. I can report that the cleaning has gotten easier, they find me when they need me for one-on-one, and it really, truly all works. Plus, they have each other — so much of why they don’t need a ton from me is because they care for each other. When my boy bumps his head and I’m clear across the kitchen but one of his sisters is right there, he’ll ask *her* for a kiss to make it better. And there is nothing sweeter in the world. You’ll be great!!
Robin´s latest post: Maximizing our real estate

]]> By: Caro http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-162963 Caro Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:33:42 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-162963 This article, and the accompanying posts, have been a real boost. Having tried for years for children, I have 1 IVF angel, 1 IVF son, 2.5, 1 "surprise" daughter 14 mth, and am now very unexpectedly pregnant again. Am slightly in shock, as this was never part of "the plan". I think it will be fun, but am anxious about the financial drawbacks, and being able to offer our children everything I had as a child, in particular university education (if they want it). Three is unknown territory for us: hubbie and I both come from the standard 2 parents, 2 children family set-up. Whilst the car and house are issues, they can be overcome. It's the time issue that's the biggest for me. I want to be there for each of them, one-to-one, and I think that's going to be tricky. But reading the posts, it sounds like we are in for a lot of fun and fabulous times, and it has certainly been encouraging to read its not all doom and gloom! My favourite comment? Robyn stating that you can forget about ever having a clean house! Agreed. It's difficult enough with two!! Briefly in response to AJ - can v much empathise. We had 5 embryos still in storage after our son. It was an extremely difficult - with many tears shed - decision. Each of those five could, and probably would, be as wonderful as our son. Yet how could we "choose" one of the five? And to destroy them, when they had no choice in their creation, was also not an option. And then came our daughter, naturally, and totally by surprise. (and now I'm flippin preggers again). In the end, as we couldn't imagine implanting all five, but didn't want to destroy them, we opted to give them to research. At least that way their creation still had a purpose. And I am so so grateful to be able to have had my son in the first place, who without research would not be here today. xx This article, and the accompanying posts, have been a real boost. Having tried for years for children, I have 1 IVF angel, 1 IVF son, 2.5, 1 “surprise” daughter 14 mth, and am now very unexpectedly pregnant again. Am slightly in shock, as this was never part of “the plan”. I think it will be fun, but am anxious about the financial drawbacks, and being able to offer our children everything I had as a child, in particular university education (if they want it). Three is unknown territory for us: hubbie and I both come from the standard 2 parents, 2 children family set-up. Whilst the car and house are issues, they can be overcome. It’s the time issue that’s the biggest for me. I want to be there for each of them, one-to-one, and I think that’s going to be tricky. But reading the posts, it sounds like we are in for a lot of fun and fabulous times, and it has certainly been encouraging to read its not all doom and gloom! My favourite comment? Robyn stating that you can forget about ever having a clean house! Agreed. It’s difficult enough with two!!

Briefly in response to AJ – can v much empathise. We had 5 embryos still in storage after our son. It was an extremely difficult – with many tears shed – decision. Each of those five could, and probably would, be as wonderful as our son. Yet how could we “choose” one of the five? And to destroy them, when they had no choice in their creation, was also not an option. And then came our daughter, naturally, and totally by surprise. (and now I’m flippin preggers again). In the end, as we couldn’t imagine implanting all five, but didn’t want to destroy them, we opted to give them to research. At least that way their creation still had a purpose. And I am so so grateful to be able to have had my son in the first place, who without research would not be here today. xx

]]> By: Robin (noteverstill) http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-148456 Robin (noteverstill) Thu, 03 Nov 2011 20:53:05 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-148456 Good luck to you, AJ. However this works out, you're starting from a place of hope and optimism, and I think that's the best way to go about things. No matter what, the girls you have are lucky to have you as their mama. Good luck to you, AJ. However this works out, you’re starting from a place of hope and optimism, and I think that’s the best way to go about things. No matter what, the girls you have are lucky to have you as their mama.
Robin (noteverstill)´s latest post: Vespers

]]> By: AJ http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-146504 AJ Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:16:09 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-146504 I have 2 girls, 4 and 6, and am 37 years old. I never imagined having more than 2 kids. But I did IVF and have an embryo left in storage that has been calling me relentlessly for the last few years. I find it easy to find the negatives, I'm too old, there's two much of a gap, all my friends are done with 2, I'm putting myself back years when I am almost 'free' with the kids at school... and was struggling to find the positives until I read all these posts and your wonderful main article. I'm going to go for it and actually think that maybe I can pull this off without seriously damaging my daughters in the process ;-) I feel for all the women out there who have to make this decision when left with embryos after IVF, it is the hardest choice of my life, but I simply cannot let it be thrown away without giving it a chance. I'm just grateful I didn't have 8 embryos left I guess! Thank you so much for your sharing your wisdom and experience, I can't tell you how much your words hit home :) I have 2 girls, 4 and 6, and am 37 years old. I never imagined having more than 2 kids. But I did IVF and have an embryo left in storage that has been calling me relentlessly for the last few years. I find it easy to find the negatives, I’m too old, there’s two much of a gap, all my friends are done with 2, I’m putting myself back years when I am almost ‘free’ with the kids at school… and was struggling to find the positives until I read all these posts and your wonderful main article. I’m going to go for it and actually think that maybe I can pull this off without seriously damaging my daughters in the process ;-) I feel for all the women out there who have to make this decision when left with embryos after IVF, it is the hardest choice of my life, but I simply cannot let it be thrown away without giving it a chance. I’m just grateful I didn’t have 8 embryos left I guess! Thank you so much for your sharing your wisdom and experience, I can’t tell you how much your words hit home :)

]]> By: Robin http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-144168 Robin Fri, 09 Sep 2011 16:29:33 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-144168 I'm cheering for you, Maria. You can do this! Your kids will turn out great, I know it. I’m cheering for you, Maria. You can do this! Your kids will turn out great, I know it.
Robin´s latest post: In her own way

]]> By: Maria http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-144078 Maria Thu, 08 Sep 2011 20:12:55 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-144078 I was having a moment with tears in my eyes where I just felt like I couldn't do this anymore. I sat down at the computer and "Googled".. "How do I take care of 3 kids"...curious to see what would come up. I scrolled down a bit and this caught my eye. Thank you for writing this. It dried up my tears. You have some great ideas that I will try to make this easier for me and my kids. I have 3 and 4 year old girls who are 11 months apart and a 3 1/2 month old baby boy. I was having a moment with tears in my eyes where I just felt like I couldn’t do this anymore. I sat down at the computer and “Googled”.. “How do I take care of 3 kids”…curious to see what would come up. I scrolled down a bit and this caught my eye. Thank you for writing this. It dried up my tears. You have some great ideas that I will try to make this easier for me and my kids. I have 3 and 4 year old girls who are 11 months apart and a 3 1/2 month old baby boy.

]]> By: Love Links http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-115267 Love Links Sun, 13 Feb 2011 17:29:44 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-115267 [...] raising a three child [...] [...] raising a three child [...]

]]> By: BobbieSue http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-90902 BobbieSue Wed, 23 Jun 2010 04:07:33 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-90902 I have 3 myself, and agree about the challenges of three, not enough hands, no room for the car seats, getting a table at a restaurant, buying a patio set, etc. One of the most interesting statements about 3 was from when I was expecting #2. There was a wonderful family that we went to church with that had 9 kids. Through out the pregnancy, the dad of this family, who was normally a man of few words, was always giving me baby advice. One Sunday, someone commented that I was going to have my hands full with the 2 since the oldest was only 20 months older. And this dad of 9 said, "Two is easy, you got enough hands and eyes to take care of 'em. Three is hard cause you always feel like you forgot someone and never have enough hands. But once you get past 3, you don't notice the extras." I have 3 myself, and agree about the challenges of three, not enough hands, no room for the car seats, getting a table at a restaurant, buying a patio set, etc.
One of the most interesting statements about 3 was from when I was expecting #2. There was a wonderful family that we went to church with that had 9 kids. Through out the pregnancy, the dad of this family, who was normally a man of few words, was always giving me baby advice. One Sunday, someone commented that I was going to have my hands full with the 2 since the oldest was only 20 months older. And this dad of 9 said, “Two is easy, you got enough hands and eyes to take care of ‘em. Three is hard cause you always feel like you forgot someone and never have enough hands. But once you get past 3, you don’t notice the extras.”

]]> By: Muliebrity http://simplemom.net/three-child-family/comment-page-1/#comment-90875 Muliebrity Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:32:05 +0000 http://simplemom.net/?p=6914#comment-90875 We just added baby number 3, 3 weeks ago, so this post came at the perfect time. Thank you. We just added baby number 3, 3 weeks ago, so this post came at the perfect time. Thank you.

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