Comments on: The Lie Many Parents Believe

By: AmbitiousSingleMom

AmbitiousSingleMom — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 17:22:21 +0000

Wow I like this post and really appreciate it. I’m a single mom of 3 sons and my household can get BEYOND crazy at times. You are right… My children do feed off of me and my attitude/response to things. At times when my boys start “going at it”, the stress level in my home goes up and I cannot for the life of me understand why they do the things they do to each other or even say to one another. Then of course when I get upset it’s harder for them to calm down as well. Like you said they are their own separate beings and no matter how I try to guide them, in the end it’s all about choices. Great Post!!!
.-= AmbitiousSingleMom´s last blog ..Let’s Try This Again… =-.

By: Sharing Saturday ~ 03-20-2010 ~ Babies Celebrated | rosiegirldreams.com

Sharing Saturday ~ 03-20-2010 ~ Babies Celebrated | rosiegirldreams.com — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 12:42:53 +0000

[...] Allan’s post, “The Lie Many Parents Believe,” is a great read for new and old parents alike. As my kids grow up, I find the [...]

By: Things to Write Home About – 3/14/10 | Feels Like Home

Things to Write Home About – 3/14/10 | Feels Like Home — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 03:01:37 +0000

[...] Corey from Simple Marriage posted The Lie Many Parents Believe [...]

By: she’s not a reflection of me : mommalou

she’s not a reflection of me : mommalou — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:27:22 +0000

[...] A post over at Simple Mom on this topic that resonated with me: [...]

By: On having the wisdom to know the difference | The Blow In

On having the wisdom to know the difference | The Blow In — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:03:38 +0000

[...] I read this post by Corey Allen this morning which helped me realise two things that, sadly for my 6 year old, were not obvious to [...]

By: What I Read This Week: 2 « h o u s e o f h i l l s

What I Read This Week: 2 « h o u s e o f h i l l s — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:53:52 +0000

[...] The Lie Many Parents Believe from Simple Mom – GREAT parenting post. Reminded me some of what wer’re reading in our small group right now. [...]

By: Stacy

Stacy — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:47:40 +0000

This is the whole principal behind the book "Scream Free Parenting." Great book that I am currently reading and would recommend it highly! .-= Stacy´s last blog ..Have you checked out the new Simple Living Media sites? =-.

By: Eric D

Eric D — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:48:09 +0000

There is a great poem for Kahlil Gibran (in The Prophet):

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
.-= Eric D´s last blog ..Improvisation =-.

By: jennifer

jennifer — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:39:52 +0000

Good advise. I have friends who try to control their children and it always becomes a battle of will that turns uglier the older they get. I am raising 5 children, half of whom are fully grown now. People always ask why my children are so good, and it really comes down to basics. We have always been respectful and polite to them and they in turn to us. That is not to say they haven’t tried to be disrespectful at times, they have and I have lovingly and firmly explained the importance of mutual respect in relationships, and yes, sometimes they pushed it further and were grounded. I think the difference is they knew why I didn’t agree with what they were doing and why I felt it was important enough to punish them for. Like wise I did not yell in their face that they better never talk to me that way, etc. BTY emotional reactivity I believe covers the same ground, having enough respect and good manners towards your children to not let them be effected by your bad mood, financial difficulties, fight with spouse, etc. i forget who said this, but a quote that has always stuck with me ” people with truely good character have the people who are closest to them think the highest of them.” I botched the quote, but you get the general idea! Thanks for your insights.

By: paula @ Organizing Tips 4 Moms

paula @ Organizing Tips 4 Moms — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:12:49 +0000

I really struggle with #2. I feel responsible for every action my child takes. I wonder how their behavior at school and church will reflect back on me as a parent. Thank you for this post. It has given me alot to think about. .-= paula @ Organizing Tips 4 Moms´s last blog ..Quick Organizing: DVDs, CDs and Silverware =-.