Longtime reader of Simple Mom and blogger over at Steady Mom, Jamie Martin has just released her first book, Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood
Jamie has a big heart and an encouraging spirit, and her book drips of her passion to inspire moms to treat their role of motherhood as the most rewarding job around.
This weekend, she is generously giving three Simple Mom readers a signed copy of her book! And I recently had a chance to chat with her about this latest work…
1. Congratulations on the release of your book! Can you tell SM readers in a few sentences what the book is about?
Thank you so much, Tsh!
Steady Days
2. I know many mamas feel like they don’t have time to be a “professional mama,” and that they feel so much pressure to do things perfectly. What would you say to those mamas?
Professionalism isn’t about perfection or adding anything extra to our already very full plates. It isn’t about trying to “do it all” or do what some other mother is doing with her kids. In my mind, being a professional mother means not allowing life to just happen and pass you by. It means choosing the type of life you want for yourself and your family, and purposefully going after that goal. It means playing to your strengths–thereby becoming the best mother you can be for your children.
3. What’s one word you would use to describe the atmosphere in your home?
Freedom. My goal is that the atmosphere in our home allows each member of our family to become our best self–discovering and using the incredibly unique talents and skills we’ve each been given in a way that helps and impacts others. I want my children to feel free to become who they are meant to be–to be influential individuals who think for themselves. And that’s what I also want for myself as their mother.
4. Do you ever get asked, “How do you do it all?” Explain a little bit about how you choose your priorities, and about how you deal with that never-ending to-do list at home.
I don’t get asked that very often–I think it’s because I’m so open and real on my blog about all the things I don’t do!
I only put six things on my to-do list each day. Often the first three repeat: read to the kids, make dinner plans, do laundry. The other three spaces allow me to sort out life as it happens and time for blogging/writing projects. And that’s a wrap! It’s a very full life but one centered around my priorities, not someone else’s. I love it.
5. What’s the main thing you hope readers of your book walk away with?
Confidence. Sometimes parenting books unintentionally heap further guilt on mamas who already doubt their mothering abilities. Steady Days
6. What does this next year look like for you? Any plans to write a second book?
2010 is going to be an incredible year, and kicking it off this way is such a wonderful start! I’m also privileged to be part of one of the new blogs Tsh is launching in February through Simple Living Media. I’m thrilled to be the editor for the new site, Simple Homeschool, which will enable me to write about another of my passions–education.
I do have plans for a second book. I’d like to write about how we can give our children a global perspective–enabling them to become leaders who impact and change the world. But I won’t be getting started on that for a few months, not until I can make it work for our family and still keep everyone sane. As I mentioned above, I can’t do it all! But global-mindedness is a subject very close to my heart.
And most of my year will be spent loving and learning with my three little people. That is, after all, the most important thing.
Giveaway Time
This giveaway is now closed.
Here’s how to win one of the three signed copies of Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood
1. Leave a comment on this post, answering this question — What do you think is the single hardest thing about parenting?
2. To enter a second time, tweet about this giveaway on Twitter (use the “retweet” button at the bottom of the post).
3. To enter a third time, write about this giveaway on your blog, using this post’s URL (not Simple Mom’s main URL).
This giveaway will end on Monday, January 18 at 11:59 p.m. EST. I hope you win!
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Hardest thing about parenting? Feeling guilty. Guilty that I did not spend enough time with one of my kids, guilty that I feed them mac and cheese again for dinner, for loosing my temper, for letting the TV babysit, for the piles of laundry ect.
cutting little fingernails. Freaks me out more than anything.
Hardest thing for me is finding the time to do all I need to do without staying up until 1am!
The responsibility and challenge of being a living example of the characteristics I am trying to teach my children, for sure. I come face to face with my own shortcomings all the time…
I think the single hardest thing about parenting is knowing in that precious instant following an incident if it’s going to be a battle to pick and if, so how it handle it properly if it’s one of those scenario’s that we haven’t foreseen and mapped out already. And with the rate that young ones grow and change, this happens more often than I anticipate!
Being able to impart the knowledge of Jesus and the grace while maintaining discipline and doing daily life! Thank Jesus that we are not alone in this task!
For me the hardest thing about parenting is balancing the “doing” list (laundry, meals, cleaning — maintaining the house) with the “being” list (reading, playing with kids — being present with them). Sometimes the reward of being able to check something off of a list and call it done is so compelling — and then I look at the smile in my 21 month old’s eyes when I sit and play trains with him…..
Hardest part about being a parent: getting my teeth brushed at least once a day! Seriously, it’s “dying to self” – a slow, painful, but oh-so-necessary death if there ever was one. Thank God for kids.
I believe the hardest thing of being a parent is to forget about “being a parent” and be a human person in love with another human person, that is only a little smaller than you are. Sometimes I feel I’m loosing the love I feel for my children, because of all the information I have read about parenting and child psychology. I forget and… I loose it. My patience, my calmness and most of all my love. There are no perfect parents and no perfect children, all there is is love. And love can help you go a long way.
The hardest thing about being a parent is losing myself. My life is so consumed by being mom, I have no time for myself. I have so many things in my life that I want to accomplish that I can never get to. I have lost my way on this journey through motherhood and hope to find my way back.
The hardest thing about parenting is knowing that decisions you make every day impact the lives of the people you most absolutely love! Every day as a parent, I change a little. Every night, I ask myself if I have done my best.
When they were younger, I would have said feeding was the hardest thing. Nursing, baby food (when, what, how much…) and worrying about food allergies. Now that my two are 2 and 4, it’s character training. How do I teach them to be kind to one another? To appreciate what they have?
Sandra´s last blog ..K Is for Kiss!
the single hardest thing for me is to remember to respond to my children in a way that i want to parent – rather than react to them in the way i was parented. in other words – to not be my parents. i am really trying not to parent the way i was parented especially since my children are adopted and need this different style. but along with their needs come behaviors that they can’t help resulting from their early institutional care. it’s really hard almost every moment of the day. but i see progress and it sure helps to remind myself of that!
Balance. Trying to not only find but also maintain the balance between all the relationships in life and all the duties in life. Wife, Mother, Friend, Daughter, Sister. Laundry, Dishes, Dusting, Vacuuming, Etc. It’s a never ending quest it seems.
Wow! Would love a copy of this book. My theme this year is purposefulness and trying to live that out daily.
The hardest thing about parenting for me is not becoming overwhelmed and feeling like I’m not doing all the things I should be doing as a mother. I feel guilty when something takes up time that could have been spent with my girls. Even though I’m home with them all day, I often feel like I’m not doing half of what I should be doing. My own large expectations overwhelm me.
In being with my children full time, the hardest thing for me as a parent is to constantly display the fruits of the Spirit, even when I’m tired, stressed, frustrated, etc.
Making every moment count and taking the time to relish those moments.
One Frugal Girl´s last blog ..A Spend, Spend, Spend Frame of Mind
The hardest thing for me is splitting my time. I feel like I need to do individual things with each of my kids, so that they see that I can concentrate on each of them, not just the two of them together all of the time. That makes no sense written- but I know exactly what I’m trying to say, lol!
letting go… every time they walk out the door, you’re letting a piece of your heart walk around on the street… that’s hard!
Cara Kempf´s last blog ..
The hardest thing about parenting for me is that so often the strategies and techniques we employ as a parent may not show ‘fruit’ or results for years, and yet we have to be consistent, intentional, and parent for the long-term success of our children and teach them how to make good decisions for themselves, on their own.
Being a friend of Jamie’s, I had the pleasure of reading this book during the initial / development stages. It had a powerful impact on me then, and yet even now rereading it again, I’m amazed by how encouraging, practical and inspiring it is for me going back through it. I think I’ll end up reading it every year for new ideas and tools in my home.
BALANCE! What does that even mean anymore? That’s the hardest for me. I’m a new full time mom to a 9 year old boy. Who, by the way is amazing. I married his dad in October and it’s been such a fresh, eye opening, humbling experience.
My life has gone from planning my career, to falling in love, to planning a wedding, to planning my days around the needs to two others. I realize how selfish, in a very innocent way, my life has been up until now.
I try to find time to sleep in, to make myself a cup of tea when I have a minute, to read a book for myself…and still feel like I’m missing something. And at times feel guilty for feeling this way.
So, BALANCE…I’m learning to find it. To love my husband and new son with all of me and still find time to actually “be” me. It’s been a beautiful journey so far. Beautiful and messy.
The hardest part of parenting for me was realizing that my college degree and my two master’s degrees did not prepare me at all for this most important journey. In fact, nothing about my first 31 years on this planet prepared me for the exhausting miracle that motherhood is.
On the Eastern Journey´s last blog ..Shades of Brown Sugar
The hardest thing about parenting is allowing my kids the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them without misinterpreting it as a sign of my failure in parenting them. I would love to read her book! Sounds fabulous!! I’m a homeschool mom of two and I am always looking for ways to improve each and every day without either overscheduling and thinking we have to “do it all” … or overstressing about what we HAVEN’T scheduled.
Thank you for a great offer, and I look forward to your next book as well!
Heatherj
The hardest thing is learning to trust myself. I know what is right for my children and I often have to battle the school system and even members of my own family to stand up for what I know is the best for them. Being a mom has given me way more confidence than I had before (often because I can’t be shy when telling a well-intentioned guidance counselor that “NO, I do not want my child on Ritalin!”).
I’m a mom of one, a grandomother of one little 2 year old and a montessori teacher of 13 two year olds! And for all of them the most challenging for me is to be totally “present”. Not thinking about something else, not multi-tasking while “listening” but to be totally “present”!
the hardest thing about motherhood is not bringing my insecurities into it. insecurities = fear = anger and reacting.
reneegrace´s last blog ..New Year. New Word.
For me the hardest thing is not having time for myself.
Living in the moment & celebrating the gift of my son INSTEAD of rushing about and trying to accomplish all the things I think I’m supposed to do/be as a SAHM.
The hardest thing about parenting? One word- balance
I think the hardest thing about parenting is balancing discipline & grace. I would love this book!
Jaimie´s last blog ..Heavy Heart
Hi!! The trickiest thing about parenting I would have to say is….balance! When my 5, 3, and 2 year old “NEED” to play with play dough and I am in the middle of backing bread, BUT I “told” them we would play with play dough! Yeah, balance! Simple Mom has helped so much, especially with the use of the daily docket!
The single hardest thng abou tparenting is remembering that a child is not your belonging. They are their own spirit, soul, essence and as parents we are the facilitators of their life. We are here to equip them with the necessary tools to succeed, stumble, and pick themselves up again. It is vital to be a role model but not to forget that a child is their own self.
For me, the hardest thing about parenting is keeping Christ at the center of my life and not allowing my children to become idols to me. When my life revolves around my kids, my joy comes from them and is stolen by them….being held in that position is a burden they were never intended to carry. When I keep Jesus in the place of glory and serve my children out of my love for him, only then and by his grace, can I be the mother God intends for me to be.
Kim´s last blog ..46: Little Miss
The hardest thing about motherhood is the realization that my little ones are going to continue to grow up.
I think the hardest part of parenting is keeping your cool when your kid is having a tantrum. Modeling appropriate behavior when your kid doesn’t want to go to school or leave for an appointment can be tough.
I think the hardest thing about being a parent is the over-encompassing responsibility we have for other human beings. In previous generations, it was simply enough to feed and shelter children. Beyond that, parents did not have to be actively involved. Today parents are involved in their children’s schools, sports, activities, etc. We have to make sure they stay away from drugs, predators, STDs, and more while making sure they turn into upstanding citizens. It really is an overwhelming job.
Sacrifice and remembering what is most important
The single hardest thing about raising kids is honoring each of them in a way that validates who they truly are – to help them hone their strengths and work on minimizing the effects of their weaknesses. The next hardest thing is to *really* listen to them without using the moment as an opportunity to teach. – I love your idea of having only 6 things to do each day. That would certainly help me focus on my priorities.
I think the hardest thing is figuring out what is right for a particular kid at a particular time- things that there are no rules for. We all want the best for our kids- but sometimes what *that* is- isn’t clear.
Balancing the needs to get done with the wants to get done without neglecting anyone or anything in the process! And maybe even being able to determine the difference between the needs and wants in the first place!
The most difficult part of parenting for me is the remembering to not get caught up in the business of it all, and to enjoy every moment of every day with my precious son.
The hardest thing about parenting for me is wandering if you are doing it right. I see many other moms out there who look like the perfect mom, they act like the perfect mom, talk like the perfect mom. These moms act like nothing can make them frown, yell, go crazy, etc. This makes me wander all the time whether I am a good mother, am I doing it right? Is there a right way to do it? That’s why I am writing my blog, in hopes there are others out there like me who can relate.
I would love to have this book!
The hardest part for me is finding a balance between disclipine and enjoying the child rather than assume, judge, and compare.
For me I think it’s consistency – ALL THE TIME – no matter if she’s being cute, I’m tired, I don’t want to take the time…
Patience. I have a lot of it but always seem to be praying for more
amber´s last blog .."Where the Wild Things Are" Film Review
Consistency!
I think the hardest thing about parenting is the long-term, marathon-like nature of it. Raising your kids isn’t something you can get “done” in a day and the finish line is far off in the future.
The hardest for me is that I have to always be busy doing doing doing. I’m the type of person who wants to plan out my day and live it to the minute, but my little one always wants 100% attention. This means I end up cleaning the bathroom while she’s in the tub, and cleaning like a maniac when she’s asleep and then I need a nap when she wakes up. It doesn’t sound like much but for me this is the hardest thing about parenting. Trying to fit in exercise, a shower, my busy work day, reading to her, playing with her, cleaning, etc. is such a juggling act and leaves me exhausted! The book sounds so fabulous! I am on a quest for purposeful mothering, and have read many books, and each leaves me with little tips and hopes to being a better mother!
The hardest thing for me as a parent is living according to God’s priorities. All to often I let my priorities get mixed up – focusing on laundry, managing my home and my job. While God wants me to put HIM first, my husband second and my son next. That is my prayer for 2010 that my life would reflect HIS priorities and that the way I spend my time would show that.
Balancing…
I think the hardest thing for me is not judging myself at the end of the day with what didn’t happen (the laundry folded, the bathroom cleaned, etc). I am working on being happy with the messes and enjoying the experience. It is the best in the world!
The hardest part for me is allowing myself to not be influenced in my parenting by magazines, other parents, media, etc. Everyone seems to know what it takes to be the perfect parent, however, not everyone know what my children want or need and no one but me and my husband can be parents to our children. Truly identifying who we are as parents is difficult when the entire world seems to want to weigh in on how we do it.
The hardest part of parenting–for me, anyway–is balance. It’s a constant process.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is to give my child enough freedom to become her own person while trying to keep my worries in check. How to protect her but let her experience life in her own way is a challenge for me every day.
The hardest thing is selflessness. It’s a constant dying to self, rising in Christ, and living sacrificially for the ones you love.
The hardest thing, for me, about parenting is the pain of watching my little ones shoot up and knowing they will experience growing pains that I can’t protect them from.
The hardest part? The steady part; being consistant and stable in all areas for our littles. Little ones need stability. Now that I am writing this, I’ve changed my answer. My hardest part? Worrying about all the areas that I am not good enough in; the shortcomings and failures and the fear that I am failing in this motherhood journey.
I actually wrote my reading list for the year : http://www.beautifulcalling.ca/2010/01/bookin-it-2010-my-reading-goals-for.html and THIS BOOK IS ON IT!
I completely want to read this. I love the title ad everything I have read about it thus far (i.e. broken down into small chapters, practical how-to’s etc!)
I was hoping we’d see a giveaway somewhere for them!
beautifulcalling @ gmail.com
Jenn @ Beautiful Calling´s last blog ..It’s My Birthday: 31 Things About Me!
The hardest part for me is finding balance — work, household stuff, personal time, time with hubby, and being present as a parent.
Is to handle stress, and to find a balance between you and your partner on how to bring up your little ones.
Balancing work and home. I want the hours after we get home to be peaceful and happy for my family.
My hardest thing about being a mom is letting go of my older relatives’ comments. “When you were little, you didn’t…” or “My kids would never have…” Most of these come on the heels of my children not coming or stopping whatever they were doing the nanosecond I called them. Yes, my children need to listen to me and come when I call, but I know that when I am called, I will finish the sentence I am reading or the stitch I am knitting. I don’t heel like a dog, why should I expect (teach) my children to do the same? It’s incredibly frustrating to have to listen to comments from people who aren’t in the trenches anymore and are so far removed from the front line of parenting they have the ability to romanticize how easy it was and how well-behaved their children were.
I think the hardest thing for me is remembering what is important every day. For example, I need to remind myself that toys are TO PLAY WITH. If they are out and used, then they are serving their purpose. Too often I find myself getting frustrated with the mess, etc. What I need to hear every day is that that mess IS life…life doesn’t come later when the house is perfect and the meals are planned and the laundry is all put away.
Sounds like a great book!
Kit´s last blog ..1000 Gifts continued
Oh wow, this book sounds perfect for me. As the new mom of a 10 month old, the hardest thing for me is figuring out what I should do during the day…how much time to spend one-on-one with baby, how much time to spend on “housewife things” such as cooking, planning, etc.
For me, the single hardest thing is the relentlessness. Not just of the needs of small children, but of the way no matter what I am doing, enjoying, thinking about, etc., the kids are always there in my brain. Of course I love them and love parenting them but even with a sitter or when they are asleep or at school or whatever–they are always there, driving the next action, thought, event. I wish I could find a way to step off that treadmill for just a few hours. But I don’t think I ever do, judging from my mother!
Oh, yeah, and the eternal straightening and busy work and laundry. That too.
Thanks for the inspiration, and comfort that I’m not alone, ladies!
MemeGRL´s last blog ..MPM–In the Swing
I have been a Steady Mom reader for several months and am so excited about this book. Definitely going to break down and purchase one…if I don’t win it!
Paula@Motherhood Out Loud´s last blog ..Teaching the Next Generation
Consistency – when I’m tired, cranky, sick, or just don’t feel like it, I have a hard time following through on things I should.
Not laughing when you know that you shouldn’t!
Allison Wagler´s last blog ..35 Weeks
The single hardest thing about parenting? Its learning to let go – let go of control, let go of your plans, and let go of your child. From the moment I first held my son after he was born, I knew I had to start letting go right then.
Bree´s last blog ..2009 Year in Review
For me, the hardest thing about parenting is figuring out how to be true to myself, how to be the mom my baby needs and deserves, how to be a true life partner to my husband and how to be a professional in the working world all at the same time. I haven’t figured out how to make it all work. Sometimes I lose, sometimes work loses, often my husband loses, and sometimes my baby loses.
tiffany´s last blog ..A Great Way to Lose Some Weight This Year
The hardest part for me as a parent is knowing when to step in and when
to let my son figure things out on his own
thanks
I think the hardest thing about parenting is to be consistent. I remember before I had kids thinking that if parents would just be consistent with their kids all those behavior problems would go away. Now I know how difficult it is! Being consistent, not just with discipline, but with love and patience and boundaries and attitude…it\’s a tall order. Thankfully our role as parents will last long enough to allow some growing room
The hardest part of being a mom is finding balance. In this time when there are so many options for women, so much to be and do, it is hard to create balance.
The hardest part is paying individual attention to my children.
Definitely for me is keeping the guilt under control. I constantly feel guilty for the disparity between my ideals and what is possible in one day.
I think the single hardest thing about parenting is finding room for all the necessities of life, when the overwhelming love for our little ones is big enough to take up all the space in my heart! It always seems to come down to the cliche of balance. . .
Hardest thing about being a parent?
Knowing when I should respond to aberrant behavior with discipline and when I should attribute it to development/stress/miscommunication.
Single hardest thing? Knowing that giving them wings means someday I’ll have to let them fly!!
Love the concept of this book! Fell flat on my face when I tried to make the transition from working professional to stay at home mommy… picked up a lot of tips along the way and somedays, feel like I know what I’m doing!
The hardest part of being a parent? The overwhelming sense of responsibility. A childless friend suggested that I just “follow the book” to make parenting decisions. Great, which book, because I guarantee that I can find you a book to advocate just about anything- so maybe it’s not all the responsibility, but all the information and ultimately having to trust yourself to figure out the right choice for you and your child.
Thanks for hosting!
As a Momma to 4 kiddos aged 5 and under, the hardest part of parenting for me is maintaining a home that can be a calm (super fun & silly, of course) and peaceful. I want my kids and husband to always look to our home as the one place they can rely on to be ‘their safe place.’ It is an overwhelming task, but one that I feel Called to.
Parenting: that one word job description that suddenly went from something I heard most of my girlfriends talking about to something I’m thinking about LOTS! I was married to my childhood sweetheart on Valentine’s Day 2009 and happily discovered that we’re going to enter the parenting world come June of this year, the Lord-willing! So many unknowns and questions, but so very much anticipation is growing in my heart for this new venture. Hope to read your book, and God bless you for writing it!
Priorities, alway priorities! I have to get that straight first of all and then next is scheduling!
But I love every minute of it!
I would say the hardest thing about being a mother is being sleep deprived. I LOVE my sleep and am not a happy camper after being up all night with a child.
Thanks for the fun giveaway!
hairstyles for girls´s last blog ..How To Do Twists – Another Method
The hardest part of parenting for me is learning how and when to let go.
What a fantastic sounding book!!! I think the hardest thing about parenting is the dailyness of it. It never goes away! The constancy of it makes it hard to come ‘ready’ for the job with fresh vigor because it never leaves you.
Melissa´s last blog ..A Fresh Idea for Friday
For me I think the hardest part of parenting are the differences in styles between my husband and I. Coming from different backgrounds, cultures and home environments, we have found that we have many different and sometimes conflicting ideas. We have to work to be on the same page so our children do not suffer.
Julie´s last blog ..
The hardest thing is to keep things in perspective and remember that these days where parenting is hard will eventually pass and the kids will grow up and not want to spend as much time with you later as they do now.
The hardest thing for me as a Mother is being present. It is easy to get distracted. My goal for 2010 is to live in the moment.
For me personally staying emotionally well and teaching that to my kids is the hardest part of parenting. I have difficulty keeping my emotions in check when I get off balance so that’s my constant battle.
This book looks great! Thanks for the opportunity!
The hardest thing about parenting for me is getting other things done besides parenting. If it were up to me, I would always choose to read books to my daughter instead of doing chores or running errands.
The hardest thing for me is discipline! I just want to hug on my little guy and hate to see him cry!!!
For me, the most difficult part of parenting is finding balance. I want to be everything for my children, so much so, that I neglect myself until I feel used up with nothing left to give.
The hardest thing about parenthood is that it never ends. Even when I am away, I am responsible for them. Finishing one day well means that it is time to get ready for tomorrow.
The hardest thing for me is being in the moment with my boys. It’s so easy for me to get caught up with all the household chores and errands and projects. I’ve working on playing with my boys more. “relationships over tasks” is my new motto. It’s easier said then done. But when I remember that and do it, it feels great!
consistency!!
Living in the moment….and not getting bogged down by the monotony of daily tasks.
Re-tweeted!!!
I have to agree with many of the other comments about Balance. It is so hard to maintain the balance of keeping house, spending quality time with the kids, cooking healthy meals, running errands, nourishing the relationship with my spouse, and last but NOT least, carving out the teeniest bit of time for myself (which I know makes me better at everything, but somehow never happens). I would say the second hardest thing is keeping to my own self-imposed deadlines! I hardly ever get things done when I’m “supposed to”. I never punish myself for this (I mean I’m the boss, right?)-but I do feel better about myself when I do the things I say I’m gonna do-WHEN I say they should be done!
Anyhow, I’ve recently discovered both Steady Mom and Simple Mom and feel so much better about myself as a person and a mother, knowing that so many other Moms are experiencing the same things. I really enjoy the support people show one another here, rather than the “judging culture” that I seem to find elsewhere. We need to support each other! I’m also glad you’ve opened up the giveaway worldwide-I’m in the Netherlands and miss out on a lot of stuff due to my location! Thank you-I’m excited to read your book!
Wishing I could do it all. And sick kids (soooo sad) is a close second.
Katie @ Kitchen Stewardship´s last blog ..Beautiful Beginnings: A Guest Post from Amy at Raising Arrows
#1 hardest thing about parenting : Being Consistent.
I’m not a parent yet! So I don’t know what the hardest thing about it is
But I worry a lot about what it would be like to be one, that’s why I would like to read this book
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