Longtime reader of Simple Mom and blogger over at Steady Mom, Jamie Martin has just released her first book, Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood
Jamie has a big heart and an encouraging spirit, and her book drips of her passion to inspire moms to treat their role of motherhood as the most rewarding job around.
This weekend, she is generously giving three Simple Mom readers a signed copy of her book! And I recently had a chance to chat with her about this latest work…
1. Congratulations on the release of your book! Can you tell SM readers in a few sentences what the book is about?
Thank you so much, Tsh!
Steady Days
2. I know many mamas feel like they don’t have time to be a “professional mama,” and that they feel so much pressure to do things perfectly. What would you say to those mamas?
Professionalism isn’t about perfection or adding anything extra to our already very full plates. It isn’t about trying to “do it all” or do what some other mother is doing with her kids. In my mind, being a professional mother means not allowing life to just happen and pass you by. It means choosing the type of life you want for yourself and your family, and purposefully going after that goal. It means playing to your strengths–thereby becoming the best mother you can be for your children.
3. What’s one word you would use to describe the atmosphere in your home?
Freedom. My goal is that the atmosphere in our home allows each member of our family to become our best self–discovering and using the incredibly unique talents and skills we’ve each been given in a way that helps and impacts others. I want my children to feel free to become who they are meant to be–to be influential individuals who think for themselves. And that’s what I also want for myself as their mother.
4. Do you ever get asked, “How do you do it all?” Explain a little bit about how you choose your priorities, and about how you deal with that never-ending to-do list at home.
I don’t get asked that very often–I think it’s because I’m so open and real on my blog about all the things I don’t do!
I only put six things on my to-do list each day. Often the first three repeat: read to the kids, make dinner plans, do laundry. The other three spaces allow me to sort out life as it happens and time for blogging/writing projects. And that’s a wrap! It’s a very full life but one centered around my priorities, not someone else’s. I love it.
5. What’s the main thing you hope readers of your book walk away with?
Confidence. Sometimes parenting books unintentionally heap further guilt on mamas who already doubt their mothering abilities. Steady Days
6. What does this next year look like for you? Any plans to write a second book?
2010 is going to be an incredible year, and kicking it off this way is such a wonderful start! I’m also privileged to be part of one of the new blogs Tsh is launching in February through Simple Living Media. I’m thrilled to be the editor for the new site, Simple Homeschool, which will enable me to write about another of my passions–education.
I do have plans for a second book. I’d like to write about how we can give our children a global perspective–enabling them to become leaders who impact and change the world. But I won’t be getting started on that for a few months, not until I can make it work for our family and still keep everyone sane. As I mentioned above, I can’t do it all! But global-mindedness is a subject very close to my heart.
And most of my year will be spent loving and learning with my three little people. That is, after all, the most important thing.
Giveaway Time
This giveaway is now closed.
Here’s how to win one of the three signed copies of Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood
1. Leave a comment on this post, answering this question — What do you think is the single hardest thing about parenting?
2. To enter a second time, tweet about this giveaway on Twitter (use the “retweet” button at the bottom of the post).
3. To enter a third time, write about this giveaway on your blog, using this post’s URL (not Simple Mom’s main URL).
This giveaway will end on Monday, January 18 at 11:59 p.m. EST. I hope you win!
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sounds like a great book! For me, the hardest thing to overcome has been fear. Fear of missing something important, of not being enough or of doing it ‘wrong’. Thankfully, as a follower of Jesus I have been able to let some of that go and trust in something bigger, but it’s a daily struggle!
For me the hardest part about parenting is picking which battles really matter and which don’t. I need to have the ability to grow thick skin and not take soooo much to seriously and yet recognize and act upon with passion those things that must be adhered to. Morals, values, kindness, care, simplicity, giving, trying, striving, believing…those are things I want my kids to have…among other things. I must act the way I want them too, ans sometimes that doesn’t happen…guilt sets in…and then it’s a new day. It takes practice being a parent that I think a parent continues to learn for a lifetime!
.-= Rani´s last blog ..Me, A Digital Discovery…go on!!! =-.
The hardest thing about parenting is that you don’t want to screw it up for your kids!!!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..all i can say is that she gets it from her mama =-.
For me, the hardest part about parenting is remembering to enjoy my daughter. It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of life… the other day, she was trying to say something to me while I was in the kitchen and I completely missed it. She walked away and I had no idea what she just said. So I called her back and asked her to please say it again, and this time I was going to stop what I was doing, look at her, and listen. The expression on her face showed that she knew I didn’t hear her the first time, but she was so grateful and felt so important when I called her back to give her that little slice of time. I will never forget that face.
The hardest thing about parenting is the constant worry about whether we’re making the right decisions for our children that will enable them to be happy and good people when we can’t be there to help guide them.
Just tweeted this post!
.-= Talitha´s last blog ..Friday’s Fragments: Popcorn =-.
Hardest part? Not being intimidated by what a huge responsibility it is to help shape a child’s mind / body / heart while giving them the freeding to learn & grow.
I find the hardest thing about parenting is letting my kids have freedom and independence. I want to make sure they are never hurt and always happy, and in reality that won’t happen. They need to experience their own hurts and mistakes to learn and grow, but it is so hard to watch it happen!
I think that one of the hardest parts of parenting is trusting myself. Trusting that all of it – the peaks and the valleys – are part of the journey and are okay. TRUST. I am always evolving into my role as Momma and it isn’t always pretty so trusting can sometimes be hard for me. Often I feel I am under qualified but then I look at my girls and see they DO trust and forward I go – hoping the next lesson will make me stronger, more confidant and more effective. The worst feeling in the world is not trusting that I am the best thing for them so I try to stay one step ahead of my own judgements and doubts.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is that about the time you think you have things figured out your child moves onto a new stage and you start over again.
I am a new mommy and the hardest part for me right now is learning to cope with tiredness. There are some days when I am exhausted yet I still am responsible for my daughter and the rest of the house stuff. Its especially difficult when she is cranky too! I am learning every day how to try to not let my tiredness affect how I react to my daughter and my husband
The hardest thing for me about parenting, is being in the moment and enjoying the “now” when in my head there are so many things to do …
congrats on your new book!
trying to ‘do it all’
Keeping a healthy balance between enjoying the little moments with my son and getting work done.
Hi,
I believe that the single hardest thing about parenting is learning that I am not the one in control. Each child is a gift, a person in their own right, with a will and destiny of their own. My job is to find out what that destiny is and teach to it; for that, I need God’s help.
Each day is a gift to enjoy; and relationships have to be the top priority.
In Him Who is Able,
Deb
For me right now, the hardest thing is letting my girls be rather than correcting/criticizing/controlling. We all have dreams of what we want our children to be when they are grown, and letting go of that and just letting them blossom is so, so, so hard! If I could just trust in my own being, maybe I wouldn’t have to say so much (and watch their eyes glaze over!)
The single hardest thing about parenting is the integrity it calls you to demonstrate. This is perhaps ultimately the biggest reward also, as you strive to live a life that consistently reflects who you are and the values you hold it is freeing for yourself as well as your children.
I’ve always been a patient person, but parenthood has forced me to find ever deeper wells.
Like many who have already commented, I think the hardest thing is being fully present in whatever it is that I’m doing at the time. I work outside the home as a teacher, and I have to constantly remind myself to focus on the moment and not obsess about teaching when I’m at home and home when I’m teaching. My kids deserve my full attention during family time, and it’s always tempting to try and multitask.
I love the idea of this book. As a mom who is going around the second time and raising my granddaughter I would love not to have the guilt this time.
Its just so hard to keep the priorities the priorities! Spend way too much time on the other junk!
We are pregnant with our first child and this sounds like something I could really use. So I don’t know the hardest thing yet!!
The hardest thing is being ahead of the learning curve: Just when you think you mastered one part of motherhood, you realize that your kids are in a new phase and you have no idea how to best handle that one! Of course you never want to use “trial and error” methods on your kids so it is “Hurry up and figure this one out fast!”Whew!
I know that this has been said already, but definitely patience! Patience with myself, my kids, my husband, others. Patience to know that the important things are not always the easiest. Patience to know that little ones don’t see that world the way we do – and realizing that their view if almost always better! Patience to realize that I will probably never be the perfect mom, but to do my best at the most important thing – making sure that my children know how much I love them. Patience to slow down and ‘enjoy the ride!’
Hardest thing? Consistency.
Self-discipline. Not discipline of children, SELF discipline! But, then that, I guess, is the most challenging part of life in general!
.-= Lady Dorothy´s last blog ..New Year’s Eve Blue Moon and Yes =-.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is discipline – finding the middle between being overly strict and overly permissive. Then there is the influence of how I was disciplined… conciously re-training yourself to be a better parent takes a lot of inner work! Not for the faint of heart! Blessings!
I might have to say consistent discipline is one of my hardest. The book looks intriguing!
Like many others have said, the hardest part for me is finding time to do it all. We’ve recently moved and I hope to find much more time when this long process is over!
.-= Jenny Rebecca´s last blog ..a Parker post =-.
Consistency! Sometimes, I just want to make up for the missed moments by “giving in” when I actually need to be consistent with my discipline. Having two boys, I realize that the relationship between a mother and son will be so different than that of a mother/daughter. There will likely be more “distance” between us. Not in an unhealthy way, but out of necessity for my boys becoming independent, healthy men. I mourn (too early perhaps) the loss of kisses and cuddles! However, I realize that when I am not consistent I am doing a disservice to my boys’ development as well!
.-= Joelle´s last blog ..new word =-.
I think one of the hardest parts of parenthood (aside from sleep deprivation) is that it involves so much multi-tasking.
Jamie,
Hearty congratulations on the book! You should be so proud of yourself
I cannot wait to follow the new Simple Homeschool Blog.
For me, the hardest thing about parenting has been getting “me” time. If I do not get my own time, I often feel and behave like a bad parent. But my husband is incredibly understanding about this – which is great for me!
Congrats again! So happy for you
My biggest challenge in parenting is accepting that I will never have as much time to myself as I want while raising children, and trying to remember that in not so many years, I may have more time to myself than I want so I need to enjoy the present!
Balancing everything and prioritising have to be the hardest things for me as a Mum
The hardest thing for me is remembering that the housework and errands will always be there but the kids won’t, and to take the time to just sit down and enjoy them and not worry about what the neighbors would think if they could see my house.
Finding balance. Balancing everyone’s needs can be a little overwhelming.
With an 18 month old and a newborn, the thought of finding a way to do all the household chores seems more than a little overwhelming right now…especially since I had only just figured out how to do that having one!
And being alert and present enough to parent with love and patience is becoming more difficult already, I’m finding…and that’s really what I want most.
The hardest part of parenting for me is disengaging from “single mom” to share parenting responsibilities with my husband who is an Active Duty Marine. He is here, then he is gone (sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months). It has been a challenge for me to switch back and forth between doing it all, and letting him parent his way too. I forget to fill my cup sometimes, and that makes a cranky mommy. I think it’s all about finding the perfect balance. I chose to stay home with our children, and though they push my buttons some days (we’re potty learning right now, can you say stress?), I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
What a great giveaway – I really want this book! Hardest part of parenting is probably finding “me/couple” time. We live far away from any family members… and while we have found a great support network… so many of our friends are in the same boat – raising small children without family.
.-= Swell Flamingo´s last blog ..Zero Dollar Birthday =-.
I think being consistent is the most difficult thing. I’m not a robot; being consistent with my kids is the hardest!
The hardest thing about parenting is resisting the urge to pitch a tantrum fit myself!
One of the hardest things for me so far is finding a common ground with the hubby as to what we will do during certain times. We tried to prepare ours as much as we could be you can only read about so much. We are finding out little differences now but trying to deal with it respectively doing whats best for our son.
The hardest thing for me has been functioning with less sleep.
I think the single hardest thing about parenting is “keeping your cool”. Some days or minutes can seem overwhelming when it feels like too many things are demanding your attention. It is too easy for me to turn around, breathing fire, patience gone, and just yell. I am a single mother of three children under 6 so its hard for me to get away and destress. I try to find mini moments, say prayers, and remind myself that most of my anger or frustration is most likely not their fault !
For me, the hardest thing about being a parent is the delayed feedback. Is what I’m doing today going to make a difference for good or for harm? Of course, there are some answers that are immediate, but overall, is the way that we interact/love/discipling our son the way that is going to lead him down the path of becoming a man of God who is compassionate, hardworking, kind, and disciplined, but fun-loving; who has a broad world-view, and is oriented towards caring for others? We won’t find out for a while…
I have raised three wonderfully grown adults and are working on three more. (same daddy and hubbie) I think the hardest thing is being consistent in discipline or training. There are/were days I just didn’t want to “deal” with stuff. But being consistent pays off.
As a working Mom, I feel that finding a “life and work” balance is difficult. So often I feel guilty for working, but I know I am bettering my son’s life as well.
I’m not a parent yet but trying…God willing. I would like to still participate by chiming in with what I anticipate to be the most challenging part of parenting…balance?
Sometimes I just don’t get you moms out there…how the Hell do you do it? I feel stressed with day to day stuff as it is…maybe you just develop some kind of superhuman ability after you give birth!
But I definitely think being a mom is the MOST important and the MOST challenging job there is! Great giveaway…I also retweeted!
.-= The Pursuit of Mommyness´s last blog ..Why People Prefer Personal Blog Posts =-.
The hardest aspect of parenting my six children is the constant self-doubt…and me-doubt poured on me by others questioning our choices. Always thinking I’m failing my family–and having non-homeschoolers reaffirm this fear–is a weight.
.-= Christy B.´s last blog ..Ode to a KitchenAid =-.
Fear. After chemotherapy and fertility treatments, it seemed that motherhood might not be in the cards for me. And now, whenever I look at my healthy and beautiful son, he seems too good to be true. I struggle with the thought that I’ll somehow lose him and the fear that one day he will experience a devastating injury or illness. I frequently have to remind myself to enjoy the present and not waste our precious moments together by worrying about things I can’t control.
The hardest thing for me is that it is 24/7. Every other challenge, job, or task I’ve experienced in life gave opportunities for leave it, for a day a weekend or whatever, and when I come back I am refocused, recharged, and have had a chance to reflect and regroup. With parenting, the lack of break has been very difficult.
I find the hardest part of my days with my boys is dealing with a lack of sleep and still being happy,patience and enthusiastic. I also stuggle with the cleaning the house verses playing with the kids. Only one ever seems to happen at a time!
I think the hardest thing about parenting are the expectations, whether from myself or outside, that there is a “perfect” way to do it, so your kids turn out “perfect.”
oh my! this looks like just the book i’ve been wanting to read!
the single most difficult part of parenting for me is accepting that my “best” somedays doesn’t match my vision of the mother i want to be… holding forgiveness and acceptance for myself… i love you blog. thanks so much!
.-= Mary-Sue´s last blog ..What I’ve Been Up To… =-.
For me the hardest part about being a parent was not having a “just” a stay at home mom mindset. There’s no “just” in raising children! It’s a huge job and is something I’m proud that I get to do!
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Life to the Fullest =-.
fear of the unknown
One of the hardest parts of parenting is lack of sleep or interrupted sleep. When I am well-rested, the parenting responsibilities are so much easier to handle–not necessarily EASY, but definitely easier–and when I am tired, those responsibilities can be overwhelming.
What do you think is the single hardest thing about parenting?
Finding that spot where you can have confidence in your decisions and not worrying about what everyone else thinks!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Do You Step in Too Often? =-.
I think the hardest thing about parenthood is not feeling guilty about not accomplishing everything you wanted to accomplish that day. It is so easy to write down that to-do list and then feel guilt because at the end of the day you realize that nothing was done on the list! It hard some days to realize that it is okay and there is always tomorrow.
For me there’s not a “single hardest thing”, but more of a collection of things that take turns being the hardest at any given time. I struggle with the guilt of whether I’m being the best mom I can for my girls!
.-= MaryBeth @ Four Silly Sisters´s last blog ..Oh the Things We Hear Around Here =-.
The hardest part of parenting for me is keeping a positive attitude with all of the craziness of can you help me mom? can you get me this? and having to repeat things ten million times ( a little exageration ) to get thing done.
Can I pick two? I think being consistent is so difficult – both with myself and my spouse. Maintaining a level head and a calm demeanor are also challenging at times. I always feel so frustrated with myself when I lose my cool with my daughter. I’ll be working on both this year.
the hardest part of mommyhood for me has been enjoying each phase, each day, each minute. i’m a planner at heart and it’s hard to just be. when she was a newborn i couldn’t wait for her to sleep through the night so i didn’t have to get up every 2 hours. when she started sleeping through the night, i couldn’t wait until she could walk a bit to entertain herself.
now i look back at the last 2 1/2 years and get a little sad that in some ways i “wished” (albeit, not intentionally) away phases that really don’t last long. we’re expecting our child in a few weeks and i pray that God will enable me to enjoy where we are without being so focused on where we’re going.
congratulations on your book, steady mom, sounds wonderful!!
.-= Aimee´s last blog ..2010 goals =-.
I think the hardest thing about parenthood are the expectations, mostly my own. I have incredibly high expectations about what our days should look like and because I will never measure up to those expectations, I always feel like I’m failing. Also, worry. I’m always worrying, particularly that I am going to screw up my kids or that they will not respect me when they are grown. I think that comes from me not respecting my own mother.
Tweeted!
http://twitter.com/camelfam/status/7811733555
The hardest thing for me is keeping my cool when my kids are pressing my buttons.
Just keepin’ it real.
The hardest thing about being a parent is getting it all done. There are so many things to do in a day, and often times, my kids come 2nd. Getting my priorities in order is definitely a struggle some days.
The hardest thing about parenting is the responsibility.
I would really like to read this book! Being a SAHM is so new to me and I have very few people to talk to about it. But I do take it very seriously. Thanks for this intervew.
the hardest thing for me is patience…oh and trying to get everything done! This book sounds awesome!
Being consistent about everything and anything.
As a single mother, I find the hardest thing about parenting balancing time. I want to be more hands-on with my girls, but I have to balance everything, parenting, cooking, cleaning, puppy, and time is in short supply.
This book looks great. The biggest struggle for me is the loniness! Still making mamma friends…..
awesome giveaway!! Hardest thing- second guessing yourself when make decisions/choices about raising your kids. You only get to do it once! BUT they are resilient little things and very adaptable.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..What’s up with that? =-.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is trying to stay at least one step ahead of the kids — i.e., being the leader, rather than just reacting to what they\’re doing. Trying to think, “How do I want to shape my kids today? and what kinds of things can I do to hone them into the best people they can be?”
I completely agree with Jamie and am so excited to read this book. My biggest struggle is living life to the fullest with my 3 and 1 year old! I feel like I let so many amazing moments and experiences pass us by because I am so busy being and doing all that I feel I have to. I cannot wait to read this book to experience the freedom I know I will find in it’s pages! Thank you for the chance to win and more importantly for the opportunity to hear about this book!
Blessings,
Amy
The hardest thing for me is to be present in each moment with my kids. I sometimes am so worried about what comes next, what is still left to be done, what I forgot to do earlier that I don’t enjoy the moments I spend with my children. I’m working on it though!
.-= Melanie´s last blog ..Piggy Paint Giveaway! =-.
The single hardest thing for me in parenting is keeping the goal in focus and being present now. It’s a hard trade off.
.-= Melitsa´s last blog ..Raising Playful Tots #8 Amber Passy Because Babies Grow up =-.
For me, the single hardest thing about parenting is constantly having to choose the best out of so many good options. I’m blessed to be a full-time mother, and all day long I have opportunities to do many good things, but time for only a few of them.
Thank you for the opportunity to win this book!
Having enough energy and motivation to get through the days. The years are short, but the days are long!
Tweeted! (@blissfule)
.-= Elisa | blissfulE´s last blog ..potty training power =-.
For me, it’s coming to terms with the fact that I will make mistakes with my children…I can try to make the best decisions possible in every area but some of them will just be wrong, or hurried, or made without complete information and there’s no way to completely control that.
The most challenging part of parenting is when I cling to wanting to have everything under my control instead of living freely and savoring.
There seem to be so many more “hardest things” than I ever imagined there could be before I ever became a parent. I’m a mom of three under six, and I guess my current “hardest thing” would be the endless struggle for balance:
Should I help him with his drawing or read her a book? Should I get dinner started or play some more “go fish” and just feed them rice krispies? Should I suck it up and fold the laundry before bed, or have some time for myself to read a little?
And those are the easy ones…tougher are:
Where’s the line between a healthy schedule (that teaches them their lives are stable) and regimentation and rigidity (now is bedtime, no exceptions)?
How do you balance keeping their lives “slow” (with time for play and individual exploration) against the benefits of extracurricular activities (giving them exposure to piano, aikido, woodworking, painting, soccer, dance).
…the list goes on, but I’m going to stop “surfing” (me time) now in the interest of sleep (necessary for the prevention of cranky mama”)
The hardest thing about parenting at the moment is twofold: staying calm and accepting what is. Those go hand in hand. I am a lot calmer when I am open to the reality of everyday life with kids instead of fighting it with my ideas of what ought to be.
I think the hardest thing might be consistency. When you feel bad, it’s easy to let more things go than normal.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Our Precious Baby, is Not Much of a Baby, Anymore =-.
The hardest part for me is when my baby is crying and I can’t do anything to make the situations better. Like when she is teething or just too tired to go to sleep.
I Tweeted!
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Giveaway =-.
I blogged about the giveaway here: http://amy-shiningmylight.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveaway.html.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Giveaway =-.
I would love to make my motherhood more professional!
Balance. So many competing things.
I’m not sure yet what will be the hardest thing about parenting. The hardest part yet has been getting pregnant and now we very happily are.
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..Avatar =-.
I think the single hardest thing is staying in the moment and being true to my son. So often I waste time doing things that aren’t truly important instead of getting down on the floor and just enjoying simple playtime with him.
blarrrggg….. I need this book (or something similar!) I’m suffering with what I feel is the hardest thing about parenting – not having a PLAN!!! (or a PALN as Sgt. Bilko would say) it drives me crazy.
.-= Helly´s last blog ..oh joy =-.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is keeping focused on those intangible priorities when there’s so many other pressing “in your face” things. For instance, I’ve been working on concentrated play time with my boys. For me, that means putting aside the laundry or the computer and actually sitting and coloring wild and crazy pictures together. Simple but difficult for me.
I think the single hardest thing about parenting is finding a balance between everything. It’s so hard to give my family the time and attention they need and still have time for work, maintaining my home and myself!
For me the toughest parenting challenge has been consistency. So often when I’m frustrated or irritated with my child it has to do with a previous lack of follow-through or inconsistency on MY part. A lot of the time it’s not truly the kid’s issue, it’s mine. Kids are made to push back and try new things – that’s how they learn. It’s my job to direct them in a helpful, productive way… CONSISTENTLY. Even when I’m operating on 4 hours of sleep which seems SOOOOO unfair. =)
.-= beck´s last blog ..Ninja princess =-.
Oh I love the Steady Mom, she makes so much sense!!! The hardest thing for me is keeping up with friends… I am so busy with my kids and involved in their lives and loving their lives that I quite forget I need to keep in touch… it is a real effort for me. I know times change and so do friends!!!
.-= se7en´s last blog ..Fabulous Friday Fun – #2 and a GiveAway… =-.
The hardest thing about parenting for me is finding just the right balance.
I think the hardest thing about parenting is not being driven by my to-do list and my desire to be productive, but to do the right things. In this current season of my life (3 & 1/2 girl, 1 & 1/2 girl, 2 week old boy), I have pared down my priorities to 1) loving and training my girls, 2) feeding my son well and getting him into a routine, and 3) food and laundry….and sleep for myself. Those are the right things for me right now, not my huge list of Christmas and baby thank yous, house cleaning, errand running, etc, etc.
This book sounds great, thanks for reviewing it!
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