Comments on: Relinquish Your Power on the Things that don’t Matter

By: What are all of the different parenting methods available?

What are all of the different parenting methods available? — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:14:25 +0000

[...] Love and Logic Parenting [...]

By: Open Loops 4/13/2010: Articles I Think Worth Passing Along | SimpleProductivityBlog.com

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 10:00:19 +0000

[...] remember to pick my battles, but Simple Mom gives some great guidelines on how to allow choices in “Love and Logic Parenting”. It was a great [...]

By: Derrick

Derrick — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:01:53 +0000

I concur. Parenting with Love and Logic is wooooonderful.
Derrick´s last blog ..Dealing With Rejection

By: Warrior Mothers for HopeAustim, Choice and Melt-Downs

Warrior Mothers for HopeAustim, Choice and Melt-Downs — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 21:25:12 +0000

[...] I found an article on the blog Simple Mom about Relinquishing Your Power on the Things That Don’t Matter. [...]

By: Pot Luck Mama

Pot Luck Mama — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:49:53 +0000

Your post actually spurred a parenting conversation between my husband and I just now…always a good thing:) Thanks for that!

I listened to the Effective Families audio book for the Book Club assignment, so your idea of making “choice” deposits to the child(ren)’s emotional bank account was reinforced by that familiarity. In fact, you used that method in an example that suits my style and particular, current need (I have been in a battle of wills with my toddler of late) better than that book did. Thanks for that, too!
Pot Luck Mama´s last blog ..Gastrointestinal Health…because everybody poops…

By: Susan @ Heart Pondering

Susan @ Heart Pondering — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:04:48 +0000

Thanks for the post and the thoughts.
Offering children choices can be powerful and should certainly be in our aresenal as parents. But I notice that sometimes offering choice becomes too prevalent in our culture (starting at the youngest ages), and frequent offering can cause children to believe that they have a right to weigh in on everything. In my experience with my strong-willed son… my continually offering him choices contributed to a budding entitlement mindset in him, and roused (more than average) rebellion in him whenever choices were not offered. I blogged about this at http://heartpondering.wordpress.com/2009/04/06/children-and-choices/
I spent all day administering consequences and combatting a whiney and uncooperative spirit.

Once I cut down significantly on the number of choices I offered him and began to underscore my role as an authority in his life (in a firm and loving way), we began making headway. I now utilize choice as a privilege to be earned – “now that you’ve shown me that you will do what I ask you to do pleasantly, you may choose x.” This has worked vey well for us and has helped him bring his rebellious spirit into better control. In my view: the older the child and the more s/he is demonstrating a capacity to pleasantly follow a parent’s direction when need be, the more choices s/he should be offered.
Susan @ Heart Pondering´s last blog ..Mothering well through changes

By: Cori Padgett

Cori Padgett — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:25:32 +0000

Great article! I have two boys who are VERY independent, and it does make things less of a struggle when I give them ‘limited’ choices, lol. Unfortunately I inherited my Dad’s ‘My way or the highway’ philosophy a bit, so I often forget to give them those choices. But I’m definitely going to start focusing on doing it more and hopefully they’ll grow up nicely adjusted and independent! ;D

By: Meredith from Penelope Loves Lists

Meredith from Penelope Loves Lists — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:04:37 +0000

Yes yes yes! My husband and I have used this trick with all of our kids and find that it balances giving them freedom to choose with our need to be ok with their choices. So smart.
Meredith from Penelope Loves Lists´s last blog ..An embarrassment of blogging riches: five of my favorite new blogs

By: Tessa

Tessa — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:27:12 +0000

I agree Tsh. My kids have learned pretty quickly that if they don’t make the choice then I will. They don’t always like it and certainly whine sometimes, but if you stick to your guns and make the decision and move on, they’ll learn.
Tessa´s last blog ..Quick checkup

By: Tessa

Tessa — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:21:52 +0000

I love this book. The whole series, really. They have books from “the younger years” on up to the teen years. We started using the technique with my son when he was six months old and very quickly taught him to stay out of kitchen cabinets, away from stairs, etc. Very simple. He’s a rule-abider though It got more difficult when my daughter was born. Mostly because offering choices to both of them (just 22mo apart) at the same time is exhausting, they often talk over each other, or choose different things (one wants to leave now, the other wants to leave in 10 minutes for example). She is also more emotionally driven and not so much a rule-abider, so we get a lot more whining out of her. But, overall the technique is very sound and I recommend it to all parents. I’d like to get their newest (I think) book about “when you’re at a loss for words.” I think that would be helpful to read
Tessa´s last blog ..Quick checkup