Comments on: Q&A Tuesday: How Do You Handle Well-Meaning Gift Givers?

By: Things to write home about 12/14/08 | Feels Like Home

Things to write home about 12/14/08 | Feels Like Home — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:54:06 +0000

[...] the Simple Mom, asked readers to share their thoughts on this question: How do you handle well-meaning extended family who want to give gifts in a way [...]

By: 8 Tips for Handling Extended Family Stress During the Holidays — Bija Talks Blog

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:03:28 +0000

[...] Q&A Tuesday: How Do You Handle Well-Meaning Gift Givers? [...]

By: People Power Granny

People Power Granny — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 03:38:06 +0000

Today I advertised new stuff on Freecycle that would make good Christmas gifts for people to give this Holiday Season. So far I've received 61 responses from good people. I can't make up my mind to whom to give the stuff. Go to my site at peoplepowergranny.blogspot.com. Read about some of the folks who responded, and tell me to whom you would give the stuff. Then vote in my poll. People Power Granny´s last blog post...Whom should I choose from my Freecycle ad?

By: Devilish Southern Belle

Devilish Southern Belle — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:33:55 +0000

Unless someone specifically asked what we wanted; I accept whatever we get with a smile. I wasn’t ever too picky about my childrens’ toys, as long as they were age appropriate and the kids played with them. Being picky usually would just set me up for trouble, and it’s really not worth it.

By: Kristi

Kristi — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:03:51 +0000

I get the whole donate it if you dont want it thing but what about the MIL that comes over and ASKS where it is? and then gets offended if you tell her you gave it to someone who was more needy than your child? This happens ALL the time in my house. So I end up keeping the stupid ‘blinky blinky blinky, beep beep beep’ ANNOYING toys. And since her house is such a disaster we don’t go visit her for long enough for my son to even play so keeping them at her house doesn’t cut it either. HELP! I’ve tried asking for books or wooden toys or just a general “no plastic” toys….and I get a LOT of plastic toys instead.

By: Deanna

Deanna — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 04:30:17 +0000

I know someone whose mil gave her 9 year grandson a bird's nest and soap-on-a-rope (possibly used) for his birthday one year. I give craft supplies as gifts a lot, so I can see the costume jewelry and quilt scraps in that light, at least. (making lemonade, you know) Deanna´s last blog post...Looking for an Embroidery Machine

By: Shelly

Shelly — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 09:57:03 +0000

I’ve taught my kids to accept the gifts, smile, and say “thank you”.

My mother-n-law’s idea of Christmas shopping is going through her house and finding stuff she doesn’t want anymore and giving her finds to my kids for Christmas.

Due to her travel plans, we had Christmas early this year. My girls got some quilting fabric from Grandma’s stash, some old beads, about 10 pairs of old ear rings (my girls don’t have pierced ears), and 2 costume necklaces each. They acted like they loved everything and said their thank yous.

One year Grandma gave one of the girls, an orange plastic ice bucket, an Arby’s happy meal toy and some dusty decorative soap that had been in her bathroom for years as 8th birthday gift. We all crack up remembering those gifts!

My Mother-in-law is quite the gift giver!

By: tumblon (Tumblon Team)

tumblon (Tumblon Team) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:14:57 +0000

Some guidance – and great discussion (81 comments!) – on etiquette for handling well-meaning gift givers from @simplemom http://is.gd/b0hr

By: Carrie

Carrie — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:12:18 +0000

I totally agree with you Amber. We really WISH our extended family could see that the way they gift to our children affects our parenting. It affects how we want our core values to come across to our children. It affects the gas mileage on the way home from hauling all of that *stuff* back from Christmas.
The thing is: I personally went crazy for 4 years trying to change how my in-laws do things. In the end, I ended up really changing their feelings about ME. . . not their gifting behavior. I became “picky” and “difficult” in their eyes. I’m not “over it” because it still affects my life. . .but I can’t put any more energy into it because that energy feels negative and makes my holidays not nearly as much fun and joyful as they could be.
And, again. . . we WISH that family would try to give gifts based on OUR love languages. And, how people give gifts does often come directly from their own love language. . . it’s the most comfortable way we know how to express ourselves. It takes a very evolved person with a lot of self-knowledge to get to the point of being able to give gifts or express love in the love language of the person they are gifting to. . . so. . . consider yourself an advanced person for being able to see outside of your own style.
The best we can do is try and communicate from our hearts what our problems are with how Christmas goes. Beyond that. . . it’s out of our hands.
You might totally dig the advent conspiracy videos (http://www.adventconspiracy.org/). . . consider sharing them (next year) with your in-laws. Maybe they’ll “get it” then. Good luck.

Carrie´s last blog post…Abby Sanford as the Marmot

By: Carrie

Carrie — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:56:51 +0000

Oh, I've been called weird. . . or 3 years ago I was called "hysterical" for requesting that items made in China be avoided. Of course, last year the whole family turned to me to try and figure out what to get and where to shop once the safety of toys was in question on a more widely known arena. It's hard to let go of something that we feel is a real and important safety issue or a values issue. . .but, we can't control what other people do or buy, just how we react and respond to their gifts (hopefully with true graciousness) and what we do and buy. Carrie´s last blog post...Abby Sanford as the Marmot