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Simple Living Book Club » The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, by Steven Covey

How well do you know your children?

(4 posts)

  1. Tsh
    Lead Reader
    Thinking Reader

    How well do you feel like you know each of your children? Can you name their strengths, their weaknesses, their likes, their dislikes?

    How can we get to know them better? In a deep, honest way, getting below the surfaces... Particularly, what are some ways we can do this with young children?

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    "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would astonish ourselves." -Thomas Edison
    Posted 6 months ago #

  2. ajjones510
    Member
    Thinking Reader

    With the younger set I think it's about giving them ample time to really talk. The other night we made sure Dahlia (3.5) had the spotlight for talking time at the table and boy, she had a lot to say. She talked about her friends at school and what she did at home that day and even told her daddy "Let me tell you a story" and proceeded to share a story about a school friends thunderstorm experience.

    Letting her know it was her time to shine really helped her to open up. A lot of times at the table the adults get so caught up in conversation (My husbands 20 year old sister lives with us so there are 3 adults) and she interrupts to say something and then gets disciplined for interrupting.

    And for me... I know Dahlia pretty well. She's with me all the time other then the few mornings she goes to a little church preschool. I think for us it's more about getting her to open up about her feelings and what she is dealing with as a part of our family and at this age it takes some creativity to get them to do that since they don't always have the words to put with the emotions or feelings.

    I am also working on learning new things she would have interest in. We get caught up playing the same game (school) over and over again and she could be totally content playing that every day, all day. It's my job to open her up to new experiences so she has new ideas and concepts to play out.

    She knows what she wants and she will do whatever it takes to get it. I admire that in her although it can be hard to deal with at times. I know she will use that skill in life. It's just fine tuning it so that she understands to work hard for what she wants but is also willing to compromise when needed.

    She is afraid of a lot of things. Mostly the unknown or the made up. "What was that noise?" "Is that a scary monster?" and so on. We are trying to be as careful with this one as possible not to dismiss fears but also not to allow them to run her life.

    And another thing on getting below the surface with young ones. Listen when they play. A lot of times they will open up to something through play that they wouldn't just come out and tell you.

    Posted 6 months ago #

  3. Jeannie
    Member
    Thinking Reader

    At this point, I think I know my daughter pretty well. At three and a half, she is what euphemists call "spirited." She is intelligent, energetic, passionate, and has a fabulous sense of humor. She can also be stubborn, resistant to change, and overwhelmed by her emotions. She likes adventure, exploration, learning, friends, snacks, Ramona Quimby, and Phineas & Ferb. She dislikes doing anything without understanding the reason for it, having to eat anything new at dinner, and people leaving the house without hugs and kisses first.

    We get to know her by spending time with her, talking to her. We've always asked her billions of questions (even before she could answer) and taken time to explain things to her. In the car, at meals, playing games, we talk--talk about what we're thinking, what we did that day, what cool things happened that day. When she's upset or confused or in trouble, we talk about what happened, how she feels, and what we need to do to make things better. I'm hoping we can maintain that communication always.

    Posted 5 months ago #
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  4. Laura @ Bythebushel
    Member
    Thinking Reader

    I first started to think I don't know mine very well, but after reading these I think it's just something- I don't assess very much. (area in need of improvement).
    My oldest loves to have a costume for every activity. He's very intuitive, sensitive, thoughtful. He's very bright. (no genes of mine, lol) He really appreciates attention through play, games, interaction. He is very capable of communication with just about anybody. One thing I'm realizing... when he becomes upset, he's often embarassed about not getting it right, whatever it is. He's one of those kids who 'can't stop crying' even when the event is over. He has to be talked back down the mountain of despair, back into reconciliation. We've made alot of progress by being careful not to escalate(provoke to wrath) an emotional situation. I just wish I had a better handle on many other things. I like what ajjones said about (being sure little one's get time to talk). We try to work on not interrupting too, and to add to that, also respecting adults in conversation. Allowing mom & dad to converse, or other adults that are visiting, so not to have anyone dominating the conversation, table or otherwise. But the challenge is to not overdue, and miss out on the child's opportunity to share with parents.
    Don't you find kids opening up in the car is always the way? we've had some pretty significant conversations in the car. I hear it's because mom/dad have to look forward, less opportunity for direct eye contact & the full weight of scrutiny.

    Posted 5 months ago #
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