And ideas for before & after school? « Simple Living Book Club

Simple Living Book Club » The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, by Steven Covey

And ideas for before & after school?

(10 posts)

melissa
Member
Reader

In the part where he walks through the schedule of making withdrawals from the teenager, I was struck (and not for the first time) how we have very little time w/ our school-age children (9 & 8). And most of it is filled w/ directives: get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, time for homework, etc. I try to do these things as pleasantly as possible, but everyone is normally tired before and after school, so a little force usually necessary. Anyway, I wondered if anyone would like to share their systems for taking mom out of the equation or ones that don't require numerous reminders and prodding?

Posted 5 months ago #
akfamily
Member
Reader

Some thoughts in the morning include the kids having their own alarm clocks, if they don't yet. I have a friend who has done this with her soon to be 7 year old daughter and her mornings have gone smoothly and she does not have to be a director. She gets to praise how wonderful her daughter is doing and build on making deposits, this simple thing has made a huge difference. I have also posted a white board on my teenagers door so she know what needs to be taken care of after school and when, homework is done. My 7 year old also knows he needs to have homework done right after dinner, so after some training they both get certain things done and once in awhile gentle reminders to keep it up.

Posted 5 months ago #
Laura @ Bythebushel
Member
Thinking Reader

I heard someone talk one time about a 'mix tape/mp3' playlist that kids knew what they should be doing at what time of the morning routine. It helped them keep track of where they were supposed to be in the getting ready process. It seems that would limit somewhat the 'mom' input, or at least help them develop some awareness of schedule.

I encourage with rewarding doing chores in the morning with positive attitude only. If there is inappropriate attitude the chore still has to be completed, but will be rewarded if done with a cheerful disposition. Opportunity for 'deposit'? It works for us. The intrinsic reward from doing the chore is that they are a contributing part of the family, they are needed. (chores my 6yo does- unloads dw, takes recyles out, & takes newspapers to recycle cannister... for a quarter, but only if he's positive about it, and doesn't get 'off task'. The jobs must be completed (the getting up, gathering supplies for school must be done, breakfast must be eaten,) but with a positive, helpful attitude, there can be a reward.

I hesitate to provide/call it an allowance. I know there are different schools of thought. I've always thought as a part of our family, it was important to not dismiss the intrinsic reward, but a quarter buys me alot of quality service. LOL...

Posted 5 months ago #
gifts2love
Member
Reader

I have the same difficulty with after school, but because my children are far apart in age, so they have different needs. One it tired from school. One is rearing to go from her nap. It makes for interesting issues. I try to have an after school/nap snack time where we all interact meaningfully (word?), then entertain the toddler while the 7YO gets some after school down time. Which makes me feel guilty b/c I want to spend time with my 7 YO who's been gone all day! But we also do special time together after the 2 YO goes to bed.

Posted 5 months ago #
JenT
Member
Thinking Reader

When I was a kid we had a poster in the kitchen with drawing showing us what we needed to do to get ready for school. It was laminated and there was an erasable marker tied to it and my sister and I would race each other to see who could cross off our pictures the fastest. I suppose it depends on the kids' personalities but it worked for my competitive sister and I (although, we did have the occassional choking on our breakfasts!). I honestly don't know how long we used it for or how exactly how old we were, maybe 5 and 7? But it created routines for us that I think we followed pretty well. I know that boys are different though. I have memories of my mum sticking bits of toast in my 10 year old brother's mouth just to get some breakfast into him!

Posted 5 months ago #
Stacey
Member
Reader

Love the music idea!! I am going to have to try that. My daughter is 1.5, so much of our morning and evening routine is dictated by my husband or me. One thing I'm working on is allowing more time for the stuff we have to get done. Inevitably, if we are running late, I am stressed, and my daughter picks up on that. The rush leads to meltdowns, which trigger more stress, and then the limited time we have together that day is a disaster. While I'm not always good at making it happen, I have realized that a few extra minutes can make a huge difference.

Posted 5 months ago #
GuiltyMama
Member
Reader

We have a clipboard in my kindergartner's room with a check off list of chores he needs to do before he comes downstairs to have breakfast. They include - making bed, turn off lights, opening blinds, pick up room, get dressed. This doesn't take very long and he likes checking them off in the morning. He gets a reward at the end of the week if he completes everything. I have tried not to tie an allowance to doing chores but either way it's a reward. They include playing a game of choice with Mom or Dad, going outside to play with Mom or Dad, going to a coffee shop for a treat with Mom or Dad, etc. The nice thing about the check off list is that it requires very little if any prodding from us in the morning. I'm hoping it will become second nature, like clearing their dishes after a meal for our 3 and 5 yo's, where it doesn't require a lot of nagging from us.

Posted 5 months ago #
Tsh
Lead Reader
Thinking Reader

"I encourage with rewarding doing chores in the morning with positive attitude only."

@Laura, I love this! It makes so much sense. My kids are still really little, but even in their simple chores, I can see how it could really resonate only rewarding the effort if it was done with a good attitude. Thanks for sharing this.

We're also a big believer in the power of music, but even if there's not a set song for a set routine, I think it's good to have pleasant music in the background. If it' soothing and uplifting, then it's just a bit harder to stress and run around.

Love all these ideas, ladies!

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"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would astonish ourselves." -Thomas Edison

Posted 5 months ago #
Laura @ Bythebushel
Member
Thinking Reader

guiltyMama, ... I'm definitely going to adapt this clip-board in the room. I make a trip up every day to check if lights are off & bedroom is even slightly picked up. we went to alot of trouble to simplify toys & storage, right after Christmas. we were very purposeful about our purchases/presents & what would be given away/cleaned out.
But keeping it tidy needs some work. I think the clipboard will be a big help. there are some things that he needs to practice everyday too, schoolwork/homeschool & I think I will try this too! To have an additional reward at a more distant point in time, different than immediate. I love the ideas of doing something with parent,- I thought of several simple things that could be rewards that I often just say no to...
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your thoughts! Benefitting so much!

Posted 5 months ago #
ajjones510
Member
Thinking Reader

My daughter likes to "work" and she earns "Commission" for a job well done. You work you get paid, you don't work you don't get paid. She's going to need that later in life!

I know that when I am up and ready before my daughter, especially on days she has school (a little church program) or we have to be somewhere in the morning, it makes a huge difference in how our day goes. We also just made a new rule. She is not allowed out of her room until after 7am. She has books and baby dolls in her room and a small clock on her radio so she can see when the 7 pops up. I want to get her a regular clock, not a digital, but for now it's working. She still calls me sometimes before 7am but she knows I'm not coming in to get her until that 7 is there. She's getting better at it each day. This REALLY helps me with the baby because he is usually up in the 6am hour and needs to be fed and it gives me some time with him before she gets up and starts making demands (and let me tell you... they start riiiight away). She's the toughest boss I've ever worked for. ;)

Posted 5 months ago #