http://simplemom.net/forum/ Real discussion over practical books en Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:31:56 +0000 http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/what-matters-most-what-matters-least#post-374 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:52:50 +0000 Tsh 374@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>There's so much good stuff in this section, it's hard to know where to begin. But just to have an open-ended question relating to the overall topic of Habit #3:</p> <p>"Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." -Goethe</p> <p>This quote was mentioned on page 114. How true is this for you? What does it look like in your family's daily life? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/define-synergy#post-443 Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:01:56 +0000 Tsh 443@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>To me, "synergy" is one of those buzzwords used around conference tables in business meetings. But it definitely has meaning for families, and its place in the home can be powerful.</p> <p>What does it mean to you? What does it look like in your family? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/do-opposites-attract-in-marriage#post-444 Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:03:49 +0000 Tsh 444@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Think of when you were first dating (and in your early honeymoon stage with) your spouse. What were the obvious differences between you? Were they annoying or endearing?</p> <p>Has your opinion of these differences changed? Are these differences as powerful? Are they even there anymore?</p> <p>In what way have you used your differences to enhance your family's unity? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/evaluating-advising-probing-or-interpreting#post-426 Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:32:46 +0000 Tsh 426@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Review the ideas of reacting instead of empathetic listening (pg. 225). In which way are you most likely to default in your immediate response: evaluating, advising, probing, or interpreting?</p> <p>In thinking about this natural response, how could you rework it to be more like empathetic listening? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/cultivating-an-understanding-culture#post-427 Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:34:05 +0000 Tsh 427@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>What are some specific ways you can cultivate a more "understanding culture" in your home? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/scarcity-vs-abdunance-mentality#post-409 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:19:29 +0000 Tsh 409@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>What does "scarcity mentality" look like in your family's life? What does "abundance mentality" look like? Think of a way you could use an abundant mentality to deal with an ongoing family issue. </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/how-well-do-you-know-your-children#post-425 Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:28:05 +0000 Tsh 425@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>How well do you feel like you know each of your children? Can you name their strengths, their weaknesses, their likes, their dislikes?</p> <p>How can we get to know them better? In a deep, honest way, getting below the surfaces... Particularly, what are some ways we can do this with young children? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/win-lose-lose-win-or-win-win#post-408 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:16:16 +0000 Tsh 408@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Describe a time in your family's life when win-lose or lose-win definitely didn't have the best outcome. How would win-win have made it better?</p> <p>I'm especially curious... What does this look like with small children? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/punishment-vs-discipline#post-410 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:21:23 +0000 Tsh 410@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>As a parent, do you feel like you do more punishing or disciplining? What are the differences, in your opinion? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/big-rocks-first#post-377 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:58:57 +0000 Tsh 377@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>What does it look like in your family to put in the big rocks first? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/what-is-your-family-mission-statement#post-343 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:42:43 +0000 Tsh 343@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>If you've read much of Simple Mom, then you know I'm a HUGE fan of family mission statements. I've written a few posts about it, and I've even got an entire chapter about it in my upcoming book. So I love this particular chapter.</p> <p>If you've already written your family mission statement, care to share it here? I love reading mission statements, and I think it would be a powerful encouragement to share them with each other.</p> <p>I'll start first. Here's our family's mission statement:</p> <p>As a family, we want to glorify God in all we say, do, and are. We will…</p> <p> * Put each other first.<br /> * Cultivate deep relationships with one another.<br /> * Extend love to those around us.<br /> * Live simply.<br /> * Be true to who God made us.<br /> * Take care of our health.<br /> * Be good stewards of creation.<br /> * Be lifelong learners.</p> <p>Short and sweet, but we love it. Now it's your turn! </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/and-ideas-for-before-after-school#post-306 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 00:33:30 +0000 melissa 306@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>In the part where he walks through the schedule of making withdrawals from the teenager, I was struck (and not for the first time) how we have very little time w/ our school-age children (9 &amp; 8). And most of it is filled w/ directives: get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, time for homework, etc. I try to do these things as pleasantly as possible, but everyone is normally tired before and after school, so a little force usually necessary. Anyway, I wondered if anyone would like to share their systems for taking mom out of the equation or ones that don't require numerous reminders and prodding? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/fostering-values-we-really-want#post-261 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:13:09 +0000 Laura @ Bythebushel 261@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>I would say kindness is really one of my values or character attributes I wish for my chidlren &amp; our family. But do my actions demonstrate this? Our actions speak so loudly over anything we say. Anybody have thought on kindness or another value that would be a worthwhile 'deposit to make - or teach- the family!'? p. 50 </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/begin-with-the-end-in-mind#post-344 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:45:09 +0000 Tsh 344@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>I love that sweet story in the beginning of the chapter, where the mom reacts in a positive, encouraging way to her 3-year-old who was genuinely trying to help.</p> <p>What has been your experience in your day-to-day life of the value of thinking with the end in mind? Have you learned, in your parenting history, the difference in how you react to situations when you have the end in mind? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/mentors-and-the-software-we-are-playing-on-our-hardrive#post-302 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:20:08 +0000 Laura @ Bythebushel 302@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>I find that when my focus is on more noble pursuits, I'm a little more focused around the house. when I've been hanging out with mom's whose focus is on their family &amp; devotion to husband, I do better in my own efforts.<br /> I found the remark about Barbara Bush in the other related thread to be very helpful from a very honorable public figure. There are numerous other's out there.<br /> There are also plenty of less notorious people out there who impact us everyday, with their small examples and words of ecouragement.<br /> Any examples anybody wants to share, positve software or negative software? (p 31)</p> <p>One for positive-- Mom Duggar- have you noticed, if you watch, that her voice is always calm, there is a sense of peace, &amp; I know this is reality tv, but they talk in quiet gentle tones. I watched her correct her son in a public place for running up the aisles. She got down on her knees and quietly corrected him. </p> <p>If I am honest- in some self-awareness, I would realize I'm probably listening less to the soft gentle software than the loud &amp; me-first,my-way soft-ware. </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/being-loyal-to-those-not-present#post-262 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:24:42 +0000 Laura @ Bythebushel 262@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Out of all the things I remember from this book when I first received it years ago, this phrase stuck in my head. I don't know about anybody else, but sometimes this is tough. Kindness to those who are not there is so important. They are part of the family even when they are not around.<br /> One way, I think, that is important to support &amp; strengthen the family is to talk well about our husbands, we wives, when they are not around. Our children see our husbands through our terms, our words, our actions. Are we on board, or do we participate in 'smack talk' when they are not around? Or bad mouth them? Or show any consideration?<br /> What about other family members? My boys fight like lions &amp; tigers, but as we tell each of them, the other is a part of this family, for ever. This is an unchangable thing,(enter moment for serenity prayer...)<br /> Any thoughts? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/changing-the-paradigm#post-341 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 07:39:47 +0000 sssdarlings 341@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>I find the statement very powerful- changing the way one sees the world through a change in paradigm, can alter behaviour and attitude. what are the specific ways can we do this with children aged 6 onwards and especially the tweens? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/listen-to-your-language#post-260 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:06:07 +0000 Laura @ Bythebushel 260@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Has anybody tried activity on page p.45. ?<br /> I am very prone to use very blaming language. I think this activity speaks to how to address an issue that is causing problems.<br /> Just prior to this activity on this page was a very telling paragraph about response, which I often find to be reactive &amp; defensive, the 'stating my case' mode vs. a response-able approach, ready to meet in compromise &amp; effort for the benefit of the family or other individual. </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/what-do-you-hope-to-get-out-of-this-book#post-55 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:38:20 +0000 Tsh 55@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>What are you most looking forward to from reading "7 Habits"? What insight do you hope to gain that you can apply to your own life? And what do you hope to gain from this Book Club? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/keeping-your-promises#post-54 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:36:51 +0000 Tsh 54@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Tell a story from your own life where you saw the power of keeping promises with your children or spouse. </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/literary-club-meeting-the-concern-of-others#post-166 Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:09:10 +0000 Kamilles 166@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>In the story found in the foreward by Sandra Covey, she talks about blowing up at her three year old daughter because she was more concerned about what her friends thought about her as a mother than how her daughter would be loved by her. Have you found yourself in her shoes? If so, can you recall a situation (singular or ongoing) where you have reacted in a similar vein? How did you rectify the relationship? What did that situation reveal to you about your own fears as a mother? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/get-feedback-give-feedback#post-53 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:31:47 +0000 Tsh 53@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>What does it look like to get or give feedback with your children? What about especially during the younger years? </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/no-regrets-later#post-79 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:11:48 +0000 andrea 79@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>I have to admit that I was a little weary before I started reading this book. I wasn't sure what I would get out of it. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. </p> <p>As soon as the first page, I found myself nodding my head... our greatest fulfillment lies in FAMILY. The most important work we will ever do is at HOME. The quote from Barbara Bush reached out to me - "...at the end of your life you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend or a parent..." </p> <p>As someone whose perspective has shifted from career to family since having children (I have a 2 yr old and baby)... I'm still often torn between wanting to be the best mom I can be at home and wanting to be a successful woman outside the home. It may be a constant struggle as I "sacrifice" my career to be more present in my children's lives - but I hope and pray that I will continue to choose my family, over and over again. </p> http://simplemom.net/forum/topic/know-what-deposits-are#post-52 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:28:51 +0000 Tsh 52@http://simplemom.net/forum/ <p>Define what deposits look like in your family. What, specifically, are deposits that meet your children's and your spouse's needs? </p>