poolparty
avatar by on June 17, 2013   •   15 Comments Friendship + Community You

Embrace summer: let go of imperfections

As you start this new week, may you learn to let go of imperfections. When your child invites a neighbor to come over, or shows up with a car full of teens, be mindful of the gifts that surround you as they come into the house or out into the yard or the pool.

Learn to not look around at the things that are wrong – your house a wreck, your agenda messed with, your to-do list not complete, the food you may need to provide.

Instead, embrace the beauty of summer. Sprinklers, popsicles, chips and popcorn. Pool time, hot sunny days, and floating schedules. People, babies, toddlers, tweens and teens.

My daughter reminded me, Mom, you love to have people over. I quickly changed my bad attitude, as it had caught me off guard when they all showed up. I said, Baby, it’s not about perfection, it’s about being given notice.

But do I really need notice? Spontaneous can be good.

The years go by quickly, they are fleeting and fast, and before you know it, you’ll have a pool that never gets used, or a patio that gets dusty, and deep inside you’ll long for the years when you were needed and people wanted to be in your home.

Learn to embrace summer, the carefree days, a floating agenda, the freedom and beauty of children.

Share what’s on hand, and set aside your angst for their joy.

Summertime is a great time to remember that there are some things that are way more important than waiting for the perfect moment.

birds
avatar by on June 10, 2013   •   24 Comments Friendship + Community You

Slow down, listen well, bravely ask

As you start this week, may you be mindful of the people put in your life that surround you with good. Take note of the details of these people—the way they hold themselves, how they listen, the color and mood they seem to represent, the beauty that’s found deep within everyone.

May you remember to look at people as people, and not as projects, or as conduits for your productivity. May you resist the temptation to rush through relationships in order to find the prize, or to check off your list “coffee with a friend.” Slow down, listen well, and bravely ask more questions than talk about yourself. Show that you care.

And when good questions are asked you by a good friend, don’t be afraid to answer honestly. Be a true friend by being real, and don’t be afraid to cry. Or laugh until you snort.

And if you feel lonely? Be that good friend to someone else, even if that “someone else” doesn’t quite feel like a kindred spirit. Do your best to be be patient in the waiting—you might be surprised at what you find. Loneliness is often used to build our character in profound ways we don’t notice until we’re on the other side.

All people—friends, spouses, parents, children, neighbors—are gifts in some form. Embrace their offering in your life, whatever that may be.

avatar by on January 14, 2013   •   28 Comments Friendship + Community You

The gathering that helps you make friends, right where you are

We’ve moved so many times that for years my blog was called The Gypsy Mama. And when we arrived at the house we now live in, it would take two years before I made any real friends. I don’t know about you, but somehow it’s harder to make friends during the minivan driving years than the pigtails and playdoh years.

It can feel awkward trying to connect with other women beyond the sporadic play dates your kids might have.

The thing about women is that we always assume the girl next door, the women across the aisle, the mom in the car pool lane, your husband’s best friend’s wife, your cousin, great aunt or the stranger in the dressing room next to you at the mall has it figured out. Whether “it’s” how to balance motherhood with, well, anything else really. Or how to manage her temper or style her hair or stock her fridge or connect with her husband or make new friends.

We’re always certain we’re the only one who feels awkward or incompetent or left out or frumpy or you-name-it.
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avatar by on August 8, 2012   •   188 Comments Friendship + Community You

On having kids later in life (or not at all)

Written by DIY contributor Katie Clemons of Making This Home.

People like to remind me of the great irony that I am a contributor at this blog called Simple Mom. “But Katie,” they will say. “You don’t actually have any kids.”

I know that I don’t have a clue about parenting. I’ll never lie about that.

I usually try to just blend in with subtle notes. If I’m writing about the soulful benefits of taking walks, I throw in with a stroller. When I write about documenting your daily life in December, I mention doing it with your kids.

It’s just that sometimes, it’s easier to avoid the inevitable question:

“When are YOU going to have kids?”

I’m turning 30 this month, celebrating seven years of marriage, and living without kids. Do I want to have kids? My story and my reasons aren’t the topic of this post.
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avatar by on June 6, 2012   •   52 Comments Friendship + Community You

7 simple ways to help a friend move

Written by contributor Megan Tietz of SortaCrunchy.

My friend Courtney smiled brightly and pushed open her screen door. My four-year-old daughter made her way to the toys, waiting to be played with in Courtney’s living room, while I said thank you! thank you so much! over and over again.

A few weeks ago, our family moved from our small town in western Oklahoma home to a new neighborhood in Oklahoma City. To save on moving costs, we decided (once again) to pack and move ourselves, and Courtney came to the rescue with her offer to keep my little one while I packed and planned.

We’re no strangers to the moving process; in fact, we are kind of old pros. By the time I turned eighteen, my family had moved eight times, and my husband and I have moved six times in the nearly fourteen years we’ve been married.

Throughout all of these moves, I’ve taken note of how people have provided support to our family as we navigated the always-stressful moments of moving. Since many families take advantage of school-free days of summer to make a big move, I thought I might share some of the ways we can provide the most help to friends who are moving – whether it’s across town or across the country.
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