Simple Mom » taking care of yourself

An open letter to first-time mamas of newborns

Tsh — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:01:58 +0000

Dear friend,

So… you’re a new mom now. Amazing, eh? Not only do we rejoice because they are all precious, but it thrills me that you have joined the coven of motherhood. It’s a large one, to be sure—most women eventually do join, I’d imagine—but it’s still no less sacred to pass through those gates into the fields where someone will forever call you Mom. It’s no small thing.

But. Just because it is common, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. No ma’am. It’s most certainly the hardest job I’ve ever had or ever will have, and I’m going to take a stab at guessing and say that it’ll be the same for you. You’ve had a small taste of it, so you’re probably not in total disagreement.

Your wee one is so very wee, so you’ve heard advice out the wazoo from well-meaning women. And you’ve heard this, too—to enjoy it now, because they grow up so fast. It’s really, really true, they do grow up so incredibly fast (my 7-year-old should still fit in my arms, it seems), but I’m not so far away from your stage to look back and see nothing but unicorns and glitter.

In a word… Having a newborn stinks. It’s really hard to “enjoy it now.”

Now, it’s not all horrible, so don’t get me wrong. And yes, it stinks in the literal sense, too (badabing!). But I’d be lying if I said that after the birth of my first, I belonged to that school of women who couldn’t wait to be pregnant again.

I wasn’t. I was so very glad to no longer be pregnant. I couldn’t fathom having a second. I could barely understand why the hospital said it was okay to take my tiny human home; why would I want to do it again? Don’t they know how often I run out of eggs at home? Would they like to see my out of control laundry pile? Why on earth do they think I’d be a good mother?

In short—I didn’t love the early days. In the first few months of my firstborn’s life, I felt like my life was over. I wasn’t happy or joyful. I was sad. Sad to say goodbye to freedom, to living on a whim, to being who I was.

And I felt horribly guilty about that. I loved God and I loved my husband. Shouldn’t I also love my daughter?

I distinctly remember the first time I felt a flutter of love towards her. It wasn’t until she was six months old. I was changing her diaper, and she looked up at me and smiled. Our eyes met—really locked—for the first time that day. And my heart melted. It got better after that.

But before that, to be honest, all I can remember is the constant influx of diapers, saying words I had never before uttered to near strangers (reflux? swaddle? nipples?), and counting poops. And of course, no sleep for months.

I wasn’t in love.

Photo by mrgreen09

Now I know you won’t believe me, but I enjoyed newborn-hood more with subsequent children. By the birth of my third, I actually enjoyed it (though I’ll be honest and say that in my opinion, the older the kids get, the more fun they are). But yes, when my first child was a newborn, I wasn’t glowing with the love of motherhood. I was barely brushing my teeth.

This is common, I hear. “They” don’t say it often, but there are a lot of moms who’ve felt similarly. After reading books and taking classes, you expect to be excited about motherhood. And then when you’re not, it can be a serious let down. Many of us know what that’s like.

The point of this letter is simply to say I’ve been there. Plenty of women have been there. And that if you’re at all like me, it will get better. Lots better. Consider this letter a virtual hug.

A few other things:

• I found out later—way later than I should have—that I had postpartum depression. I was going through slightly more than the baby blues, but I had nothing to compare it to, so I didn’t know. I managed to cope, but not beautifully. Stuff didn’t hit the fan until I was pregnant with number two, more than two years later. Looking back, I wished I had gotten help early. If you feel like you might have postpartum, tell someone.

• Shake off all those blog posts from moms who focus on waking up before the kids. You’ll get there eventually, but right now, SLEEP. Seriously.

• Enjoy date nights while your baby is still immobile. Soon enough, your newborn will be sitting up, then crawling, and then walking. And there’s no going back. I still remember a date night when we went to dinner at 8 p.m., our newborn sweetly sleeping in her carseat next to us at the restaurant. That won’t be possible for long.

• Get some fresh air. Don’t worry about hard-core working out—just go for a walk around the block. Use that baby carrier. Being outside made a world of difference for me.

• Go easy on yourself. Really. A sink full of dishes or an undusted bookshelf does not a bad mother make. Those things can wait… Snuggle with your little one as much as you like (and no, you won’t spoil him).

• Or if you’d rather put him down in his bouncy seat so that you can do something grownup like flip through a magazine, that’s okay, too. You’re still a fantastic mom.

You’re doing amazing. Really. Your body just performed what it was made to do, and yet what it did is nothing less than a miracle. You birthed new life. You’re a superhero.

And yet if you don’t like motherhood so far, that’s okay. You’re in good company. It’ll get better.

Do you enjoy the early days?

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An open letter to first-time mamas of newborns is a post from Simple Mom

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Creating a wardrobe that works for you

Hallie — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:14:54 +0000

I’m out of town for the moment, so today’s post is from Hallie Lord of Betty Beguiles.

Second only to running out of coffee, nothing puts a damper on my mornings quite as effectively as not being able to find anything appropriate to wear. I don’t know about you, but I’m not usually operating at maximum capacity first thing in the morning. The last thing I need is to go toe-to-toe with a disorganized closet while still bleary-eyed and fuzzy with sleep.

After engaging in far too many gruesome early morning outfit battles, I decided that something needed to change. Bound and determined, I set out to regain control of my wardrobe. If you find yourself in a similar position, these simple steps might just help you to do the same.

Consider your lifestyle.

Ask yourself questions such as:

What does an average day in my life look like?
How often do I need to dress in formal wear?
What additional items do I need to help transition my wardrobe into the colder months?

The key to creating a wardrobe that works for you is to be intentional. Answer the above (and other similar) questions, and create a list of the type and number of outfits and accessories you’d need to flourish. This list will be key in making the hard decisions about which items of clothing get to stay and which need to go.

Simplify your current wardrobe.

Once you’ve put together a list of your basic wardrobe needs, set aside several hours to simplify your wardrobe.

Take everything (yes, everything) out of your closet and lay it across your bed. Designate space in your bedroom for three piles: a Donate pile, a Keep pile and a Try On pile (for all the pieces that you’re not sure about). Sort every single piece of clothing that you own into one of the three piles.

Once you are finished sorting, breathe deeply and turn your attention to the Try On pile. One by one, try on each item of clothing. A trusted friend might come in handy here. Then consider these questions:

Do I feel comfortable wearing it?
When was the last time I wore it?
Does it flatter my unique figure?
Do I have somewhere to wear it to?
Do I have something to wear it with?

Be honest with yourself, and be ruthless. A woman doesn’t need a lot of garments to create a lot of great outfits, she just needs the right mix of garments. I know better than anyone how hard it can be to part with certain items of clothing, but if it doesn’t serve you in some easily identifiable way, you’re better off without it.

Photo by Rubbermaid

Create a beautiful closet.

How you create a beautiful closet will depend upon your personal preferences. Be creative! Your closet should reflect you and your individual style. Consider investing in quality hangers, pretty boxes for storing items, and/or scented satchels.

The goal is to create an aesthetically pleasing space. I can’t explain it, but beautifully displayed clothing somehow helps me better enjoy the clothes I have and minimizes the urge to go shopping.

Assess your current wardrobe situation and make adjustments.

Pull out the list you made at the beginning of this process and compare it to the pieces in your newly decluttered closet. Once you’re free of the clothing you no longer wear, you can effectively assess your current wardrobe situation.

If you have too many of one type of clothing, pick a select few of your favorites and then sell or donate the rest. If you find that there are pieces you lack, make a reasonable plan to buy them.

One other thing to remember: every single item you own should be able to be paired with another piece to create a complete outfit. Some people even like to arrange their clothing into outfit groups to further simplify their mornings—this is a great way to confirm that all your pieces have a purpose. If you find stray garments, give them away or find them a mate!

Building a wardrobe that works for you comes with many obvious benefits: It reduces stress, frees up mental energy, results in more peaceful mornings, and creates extra time to spend doing the things you most love.

What’s your favorite item in your wardrobe?

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4 minimum requirements for vibrant living…are you meeting them?

Lisa — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 05:01:18 +0000

Written by Lisa Byrne of WellGrounded Life

A few weeks ago I was walking out of my children’s preschool when I bumped into another mom I’ve known casually over the past two years.

We stopped to say hello and catch up a bit, and the conversation moved into talking about my business. As I was telling her my story, I said, “Honestly, while I do have a passion for wellness, the real reason I began this business when I did was because I needed something of my own.”

See, we had been sharing about the intensity of mothering young ones and being home with them all day. And as soon as I made that comment, tears welled up in her eyes.

She stood there crying in the hallway as a huge wave of emotions overtook her, because she so deeply related to how I had felt a couple years ago. She felt disconnected to parts of herself that she deeply missed.

After a really long hug, we smiled and giggled a bit at how the lives of women can look so different on the outside but are really similar on the inside, and that we rarely talk about it. And also how good it feels when we do.

But the next part of the story is what I most want to share.

After her tears, we chatted about what she used to do before becoming a mother. We even started to brainstorm around how she may start to weave things she used to love doing back into her world.

And then she stopped. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Really, though, I think I’m just so tired. I wonder how much of this would feel so intense if I could just get a good night’s sleep.”

Bang. In a moment’s time, I was instantly reminded of the wisdom she just tapped. So often we jump right to thinking the solution is in some higher-level change…when all along, we’ve chronically ignored the minimum requirements for thriving.

Our basic, fundamental needs…

Ask yourself these things:

1. Food: How are you feeding yourself?
2. Rest: How are you sleeping?
3. Calm: How are you handling stress?
4. Activity: How are you moving (aka exercising)?

Yes, of course we need love and joy, laughter and fresh air. We need spiritual connection and mental stimulation and creativity and purpose. But the truth is, a chronically sleep-deprived mama living off of Diet Coke and cheese doodles is nowhere near as prepared to experience the kind of deep, vital, and vibrant life meant for her. To some degree, we simply must take care of the basics first.

We often breeze past these fundamental needs and go straight to fixing the higher-level needs in our life. But if we don’t have a proper, sturdy foundation in place, any attempts at flying will fail.

In order to spread our wings, our roots need to be well established.

This time of year, we begin making big visions for our lives and crafting ambitious goals, which are all good and exciting.

But I encourage you, while you’re setting high-level goals for the new year, take time for a foundations assessment.x Inventory how you are doing in the four critical areas mentioned above. They will be the raw materials you need to succeed at wherever your life needs to expand and increase.

Lately I’ve been preparing to lead my signature course, Designed for Wellness, which starts in January 2012. And I’ve been thinking about the process of establishing goals that are truly reflective of where we are and where we want to be this time next year.

It seems to me that many women could use a simple, straightforward way to identify not just their ideal goals, but also the skills they need to meet their goals.

I created a three-part video series to take you through that exact process. If you’d like to gain access to these videos, at no cost, just click here and sign up. The first video will be sent to you immediately.

Each video will take you through a simple, targeted exercise that helps you focus on the specific goals that are right for you, as well as identify the actionable steps for getting there successfully.

I’d love to hear how you are doing in these four foundational areas. Which of the four areas are in most need of attention right now in your life?

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Help for Depleted Moms (the latest on The Simple Mom Podcast!)

Tsh — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:07:17 +0000

The latest podcast is up! In this episode, I’m talking with long-time Simple Mom contributor Lisa Byrne of WellGrounded Life. I like to think of Lisa as my own personal health and wellness coach, which isn’t at all true, because she’s available to help everybody. But she’s just been so invaluable to me over the years… I really am thankful for Lisa’s wealth of wisdom when it comes to taking care of myself. I took one of her courses this spring, and I learned so much.

In this episode, Lisa and I chat about how to handle the onslaught of heavy, overwhelming holiday food on the horizon; how to exercise in winter weather; tips for avoiding typical cold weather illnesses; and generally, finding time to take care of your health as a mom.

Seriously. This is a great podcast. Chock full of information. I took notes while I was chatting with her, and I don’t usually do that when I record my own podcasts. (I also found out what smell she doesn’t like, and… well, let’s just say it’s a travesty.)

So get out your laundry pile, or just steep your tea and take a break—head here to find the latest episode and all the show notes, or you can head directly to iTunes. (And if you’re so inclined, would you mind leaving a review there if you like the show? It’ll help more people find it.)

Enjoy!

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What to wear when you travel

Tsh — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 04:01:44 +0000

Next Tuesday, Tate and I are traveling together for ten days. We’re heading over to the Middle East, to gather the rest of our household goods we left there, and to spend time with our friends.

If you haven’t yet gathered, I travel a LOT. Not always gleefully, but for the most part, I do enjoy it. It helps that over the years, I’ve learned to do it fairly well.

The key is to pack well. Packing too much can burden your trip and cloud your mind, leaving you to deal more with the stuff than with enjoying your experience. It’s pretty hard to pack too little, but it has happened to me before. When that happens, I spend too many brain cells thinking about that one thing I wish I had.

I pack the same when I’m traveling for a week or longer, no matter how long I’m gone or where I’m going. Here are my core essentials.

Tank tops

Simple solid-colored tanks are versatile, lightweight, and pack tightly, so I bring 4-6 of them. I typically wear two at a time and can interchange all of them.

Cardigans

I bring 2-3 cardigans that will match all my tanks and are a variety of weights so that they serve different purposes. Cardigans can instantly dress up a tank top and skirt, and are great for those days where the weather fluctuates.

Jeans

One pair, in a dark rinse. Jewelry can make them dressier, or you can throw on a tank and go. I typically wear my jeans on the plane, so I don’t have to pack them—makes the suitcase even lighter.

Skirts

Simple a-line skirts look good on almost any body type, and are easy to pack as well. I take about 3 cotton skirts, also of various weights.

Lightweight sweater

Whether I’m traveling to the South or the Pacific Northwest, I toss in a thin sweater. You need a sweater in the mornings and evenings year-round in some climates, and in the south, some buildings crank up the A/C in the height of summer.

Short-sleeved tees

I normally grab my tanks, but every now and then I want a t-shirt. I go with 2-3 solid-colored, well-fitting t-shirts that match my skirts. If it’s fall, I may exchange one of these for a long-sleeved tee.

Dressier blouse or tunic

I prefer jersey, so I can wad it up in the suitcase and go without an iron (I almost never iron anymore). This shirt should go with my jeans and be good for evenings out. Leggings are also good with tunics, if it’s long enough.

Lightweight jacket

Unless it’s the dead of summer in a hot location, I also pack a structured, lightweight jacket. Or if it’s the dead of winter somewhere cold, in which I exchange the jacket for a coat.

Nice flats and sandals

I usually only bring 3 pair of shoes—a pair of comfortable flats, a pair of nicer-looking sandals, and a pair of flip-flops or Chacos. If it’s cold, I exchange the sandals for slip-ons or boots. They can each be worn with all the clothes in my bag, depending on where I’m going. Key: They must be comfortable. Must. And I wear the heaviest pair on the plane, so I don’t have to pack them.

Basic accessories

Overseas, you can usually spot the Americans: their hair is in a wad, they may or may not be wearing pajama pants or a track suit, and they’re wearing running shoes no matter what the outfit. We don’t dress up when we travel, in other words.

Most other cultures do, almost all the time. I’d rather not stand out, and I kinda like to look nice. I keep them simple, small, and durable. My essential accessories are:

a lightweight scarf (it really does make everything dressier)
a pair of stud and a pair of dangle earrings
a few necklaces
a bracelet
sunglasses
a hair accessory, like a headband or clip
one, durable-yet-not-utilitarian-looking purse/bag

Jammies and undergarments

A simple t-shirt and pajama pants for sleeping and the obvious underwear are about it. I also include bike shorts for under skirts, especially in high humidity environments, if you get my drift. And love my Spanx cami for under tank tops so much that I never leave home without it anymore.

This is my core. In colder environments, I also pack the obvious outer gear, and exchange a tank top and tee for another sweater. In hot climates, I also pack my swimsuit and a summer hat.

Packing lightly can be done when everything coordinates, and when garments are well-made. This is my personal philosophy for clothing all the time, anyway, so honestly, I pretty much pack what I wear daily.

Finally, I toss in some laundry soap (I use soapnuts) and a clothesline, because I’d rather do laundry once or twice than lug around a cumbersome suitcase. I also want to make room for purchases made on the trip.

This is what I’m packing this weekend, and it’ll all fit in a small suitcase. That way, Tate and I can navigate customs and foreign airports without ill-behaved, heavy luggage.

I’d love to hear—what’s your essential clothing when you travel?

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The Great Sugar Detox: C’mon, You Know You Need It!

Lisa — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 04:01:12 +0000

Note from Tsh: I’m so excited to share this guest post from Lisa, Simple Mom’s health contributor. I consider Lisa my go-to health consultant, and I personally have benefited so much from what she’s taught me. And she is right on the money with today’s insanely important topic.

Written by health contributor Lisa Byrne of The Well-Grounded Life.

Most of us have a complicated relationship with refined sugar (the “white stuff”). Today, I’ll be sharing the first steps you need to consider as you explore the role sugar plays in your life.

(Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. I have a free resource available that I’ll share more about later.)

Most of us have made certain conclusions about sugar that prevent us from truly understanding its role in our lives, and knowing exactly how to disentangle our unhealthy relationship to it.

Before we can talk about any level of sugar detox, we must get one fundamental truth straight:

Consuming refined sugar is not the same as our biological need for a sweet taste.

Eating large amounts of refined sugar is most certainly detrimental to your health, but the desire to satisfy your craving for sweet tastes is not only completely normal, you are hardwired for it.

Biologically, we seek out sweet-tasting things. This begins at infancy, when we know that breast milk is delightfully sweet. This simple truth turns everything on its head. Your desire for sweet tastes is not “bad” or the result of failing will power.

You can stop beating yourself up and start the process of working with your design to release the stronghold refined sugar has on you.

Here are the three main steps to experience a successful, long-term sugar detox.

Step 1: Honor your need for sweet tastes and feed yourself healthy, nourishing, naturally sweet-tasting foods.

Let me give you a quick example from one of the women I’ve worked with.

A mom came to me because she was experiencing extreme cravings and late night binging episodes, and felt totally out of control.

We were just beginning to work together, and we started by creating a strong foundation of healthy foods that truly nourished and satisfied her. I made a suggestion for a quick homemade pizza crust that was made with a touch of honey.

When she heard honey, she was very concerned that she would be eating any kind of sugar at all. I realized this woman believed that all forms of sweet-tasting things was bad, and she had been trying through sheer willpower to stay away from anything that included any sugar at all, natural or refined.

This mom had been trying hard to keep everything sweet out of her diet, but then was completely binging on candy and junk food late at night when her willpower failed and her stress from the day piled up.

Our natural craving for sweet tastes, and our addiction and over-consumption of refined sugar are two totally different issues.

The more you deny yourself any sweetness in your diet, the more you will crave it — because you are designed for it. When you’re aware of this, you can naturally work sweet tastes into your diet and enjoy them completely.

Step 2: Discover exactly how you use refined sugar in your life.

Determine your personal sugar blueprint. Beyond your natural need for sweet taste, there are other critical reasons you crave sugar and can become caught in a sugar addiction cycle.

Photo by norwichnuts

Very briefly, I’ll share another example from a mom that was in one of my courses.

At the beginning of the course, this mom would never have said she was addicted to sugar. She was taking the course because she wanted to establish a stronger self-care pattern and routine in her life.

She was a naturally thin woman and never had to worry much about her weight. And I can tell you from my own experience and working with hundreds of other women, most women who aren’t concerned about their weight never imagine that they have an unhealthy relationship with food.

We have been brainwashed by the media and diet industry to focus exclusively on weight as a marker for health.

As she worked through the course, it became clear to her that she had chronically used food as a way to stuff down and numb out deeper emotional needs, in particular the very basic need of just having something of her “own” again in life. She had no outlet for personal growth or creativity — nothing that just made her feel alive.

And that is one of our fundamental needs.

So it was through exploring her patterns with food that she began to listen and observe what was really happening in her life, and it led her to uncover a deeper, starved need.

When she began working on small, simple but significant ways she could come “back to herself” and feel more alive and creative, her addiction to sugary treats all but disappeared.

Step 3: Restore your body of the depleted nutrients and imbalances from overuse of refined sugar.

Finally, you must bolster your diet with foods that truly satisfy and nourish a healthy life.

There is no doubt that a body chronically fed large amounts of refined sugar is nutrient-depleted and imbalanced. In addition to the inner work of understanding the role of sugar in your life, it is essential to move your diet toward nourishing, healing, and restorative foods — foods that heal your intestinal tract, heal your insulin response, and heal chronic inflammation.

And like I said in the beginning, this post simply scratched the surface of this weighty topic.

If you’d like to go further, I’d love you to have my 19-page workbook, Break the Sugar Habit , which helps you, step-by-step, discover and determine the roles sugar plays in your life. This is one of the free gifts you’ll receive when you sign up to be a part of the WellGrounded email community.

Do you feel like you’re addicted to sugar?

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5 Ways to Keep Weight Management Simple

Maryann — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 04:01:03 +0000

This is a guest post written by Maryann Jacobsen of Raise Healthy Eaters.

The multi-billion dollar diet industry wants people to believe that managing weight takes a complete diet overhaul, giving up their favorite foods and participating in specific exercises. The reality is that busy parents simply don’t have the time or energy to do these things for long.

As a registered dietitian who has worked in the field for 15 years, I believe maintaining a healthy weight does not have to be complicated. In fact, I think it’s much, much easier than people realize.

During my twenties, I went through a period where my weight fluctuated and I struggled with eating. But when I learned the following lessons, my weight naturally fell to the right place for me. And the best part about it wasn’t my stable weight, but how simple and enjoyable eating had become.

Lesson #1. Eat what you want.

“Do you even enjoy eating, Maryann?” was the question a friend had for me as I bemoaned about bread served with butter already on it. That question changed my life — and how I viewed food.

I realized that I was so caught up in “good” and “bad” food — and my weight — that I no longer enjoyed eating. When I finally did eat the “bad” food, I’d eat too much. And I’d eat too much of the “good” food because it wasn’t always what I truly wanted to eat. I was simply eating too much!

Photo by Adrienne Bassett

So instead of categorizing food as “good” or “bad,” I included all foods in my diet without judgment. What I discovered rocked my world. My body didn’t crave junk — it wanted mostly nutritious foods with smaller amounts of my favorite sweets.

Lesson #2. Let your stomach decide.

Something amazing happened after I learned lesson number one: I started listening to my body more.

Because I could eat any food I wanted, any time I wanted, my desire to overeat practically disappeared. No more stuffing myself on vacations, on Friday nights or at birthday parties. When I got comfortably full and satisfied, I’d leave food on my plate. I watched my body signals, took my time to sit for meals, and ate more slowly.

If you really pay attention to your stomach and its signals, you won’t have to count calories or eat food that doesn’t satisfy. This is the first nutrition lesson my four year-old gets: when she wants more food or asks to leave the kitchen table early, I ask her what her tummy says.

Lesson #3. Make feeding yourself a priority.

Feeding myself regular meals and snacks has never been a problem of mine, but it has been so for many of my clients.

The rare times I do skip breakfast, or put off a meal later than it should be, I’m attacked by a relentless hunger later that is hard to satisfy. The better job I do feeding myself during the day, the easier it is to manage my hunger overall.

Lesson #4. Get enough slumber.

Photo by Deborah Morrison

When I had my second child, the extra weight lingered for much longer than it did the first time around. And it was due to one thing: lack of sleep. My son was colicky and slept horribly the first four months of his life.

Research shows that inadequate sleep is associated with higher weights. Scientists believe that hunger hormones rise in sleep-deprived individuals, causing hunger and overeating.

So when I find myself wanting to eat 24/7, I check my sleep, and often find it’s time to go to bed earlier or have a sleep-in day.

Lesson #5. Follow those passions.

“I’m happy,” was the answer a co-worker gave me after I asked about the considerable amount of weight she had lost. She told me she had finally pursued her passion of acting and recently landed a role in a play. Being involved in something she loved made eating less attractive, and she lost weight without even trying.

I believe I used to eat more for this same reason. I was scared to do the things I really wanted to do, and food was a nice comfort. But as I slowly started taking chances in life and found activities that made me feel alive, food became less desirable.

So there they are — five simple lessons that helped me get (and stay) at a weight that’s right for me. You’ll notice that I didn’t mention a thing about carbs, fat or calories.

I believe what matters most for weight management is “how much” someone eats. And for me, discovering what caused me to eat more than my body needed made the biggest difference. It really can be that simple.

So tell me, what lessons have you learned about keeping weight management simple?

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16 Energy Boosters That Won’t Leave You Depleted

Lisa — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 04:01:24 +0000

Written by health contributor Lisa Byrne of The Well-Grounded Life.

Do you feel exhausted at the end of your day? Do you need that first cup of coffee in the morning to “get going?” Do you experience dips in your energy mid-morning or mid-afternoon?

If your answer is yes, read on, because your body is telling you something important.

When our bodies are running well, we wake up refreshed. Our energy levels stay replenished throughout the day, and we have the same amount of energy at the end of the day as we do in the morning. We don’t need to rely on energy crutches — like a morning cup of coffee — to get through the day. Our systems are nourished with true forms of energy and are running in top condition.

But many of us rely on “energy loans” to get us through the day.

Caffeine, sugar and nicotine keep us running, but they do so at a high cost, and for only so long. These temporary lifts will always leave us depleted because they are like a bank loaning out money at high interest.

We use these “energy loans” to get us through our immediate energy needs, but end up straddled with the “debt” of exhaustion at the end of the day. When these crutches are used over a long period of time, the cycle spirals and our body never has a chance to catch up on sustainable energy or to restore and repair itself.

How do we stop this cycle and begin to nourish and care for our bodies so they are full of vibrant energy all day, throughout the day?

Here are 16 ways to begin to bring more energy into your day.

1. Choose nutrient-dense, real foods.

Choosing nutrient dense foods are essential for our energy because they give more to our bodies than they take to digest.
Start by increasing vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.

2. Balance your meals.

Our bodies need all the major nutrients (fats, proteins and carbohydrates) to function properly.
Include some protein, healthy fats and whole-grain carbohydrates together in each meal.

3. Increase your fiber in the morning.

Photo by Sharon Mollerus

When we eat a fiber-rich breakfast we stay satisfied and energized for longer, breaking the need for that mid-morning sugary snack or cup of coffee.
Try oatmeal, granola or fresh fruits – especially berries, apples, or pears in the morning.
Consider eating a lunch-type meal in the morning. I often eat avocado on sprouted grain toast or a bean and veggie soup for breakfast.

4. Consume more raw foods.

Raw fruits and vegetables have all the enzymes and nutrients intact (cooking food destroys some of the energy-giving enzymes and nutrients). The life energy of these foods leaves us rejuvenated.
Add more raw produce to each of your meals by having a side of raw cut veggies or fresh fruit every time you eat.

5. Eat your greens.

Focus especially on the dark leafy greens like kale, collard greens, bok choy, mustard greens, broccoli rabe and swiss chard.
These vegetables are full of vitamins, nutrients and phytochemicals (like chlorophyll) that improve circulation, purify the blood, and strengthen the immune system.
Associated with springtime, these vegetables increase vital energy and aid in detoxification.

6. Increase your physical activity.

Photo by Judith

Some daily movement is essential to healthy levels of energy.
Start by incorporating even 10 minutes of activity, like walking, yoga, or dance — preferably in the morning to jump-start your metabolism.

7. Reduce toxins.

Removing toxins requires a lot of energy and taxes the body. Manage your environment to reduce the toxic load on your body.
Begin by using non-toxic personal care products and household cleaners, and organic foods whenever possible.
Cleanse the air and water at your work and home with a purifier.

8. Oxygenate your body and mind.

Practice deep breathing techniques throughout the day to bring in more oxygen to your body and mind.
Try this simple breathing technique: Sit comfortably with your torso straight. Breathe through your nose, inhale a deep breath for as many counts as is comfortable. Now exhale slowly to double that count. So if you inhaled for four counts, exhale to eight counts. Repeat for five minutes throughout your day, or when you begin to feel tired or stressed.

9. Take a cold shower.

Well, not exactly. At the end of your shower, change the temperature of the water to slightly cooler. You only need a slight decrease in temperature to get the benefit. The cooler water (after the warmth of the shower) will essentially close your pores and “massage” your nervous system.
When your nervous system is engaged and stimulated in this way, it is prompted to flush toxins and increase circulation- which brings more oxygen to your tissues. This translates to a healthy energy boost that leaves you feeling refreshed.

10. Twist and stretch.

Engaging and “massaging” any of your internal organs or systems will leave you invigorated – this is one of the many benefits of a full body massage.
Try this simple “Tom Tom” stretch to engage your lower organs and reduce stagnation: Stand up straight, knees soft and legs hip-width apart. Let your arms dangle softly by your side, hands in soft fists. Slowly twist your torso, looking right and then left. Allow your arms and hands to rotate freely and softly hit your lower back and lower stomach. Gain momentum and twist farther as your body loosens up to the degree it feels comfortable.
This is a wonderful stretch to do when you have been in one position too long, especially sitting at a computer.

11. Hydrate.

We all know there are many benefits to staying well hydrated, and retaining a high level of energy through our days is one of them.
Be careful to not only drink enough water throughout the day, but to also avoid the major dehydration culprits – caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.

12. Get enough rest.

Photo by Agnese

Seems obvious enough – we will feel more energized if we have enough rest, but most people have a hard time getting enough restful sleep.
Your body must produce melatonin to sleep properly. Overstimulating our senses, especially with artificial light, can prevent this chemical from being made.
About an hour before you want to go to sleep, dim the lights, and shut off the TV and computer screen. Create a calm mood with candle light or soft music. Engage in calming activities like light reading or taking a bath.
Naps work! If you aren’t able to get the right amount of sleep at night, use midday power naps. Most people need between 60-90 minutes to feel fully refreshed, but even mini-naps can help recharge our batteries.

13. Use your sense of smell.

The power of scent is often under appreciated. Research shows the certain scents have a profound impact on our mental and emotional states.
Use pure essential oils of peppermint, orange or lemon to awaken all your senses. Put a couple drops in your palms, then cup your hands around your nose and breath deeply.

14. Listen to your body.

Sometimes the key to feeling energized is knowing when to slow down, stop, or say no. When we consistently overextend ourselves we burn out. It’s okay to have a mellow day, to take it slow and not push yourself. In fact, it is a sign of wisdom to know your limits and to honor them.

15. Reconsider draining relationships.

Some relationships that require a lot of energy are necessary, rewarding and important (I’m not tossing my two-year-old out the door any time soon), but some simply zap us of energy and bring negativity into our lives.
There may be relationships in your life that are exhausting and draining. When you identify a person that is draining, think of ways you can re-establish boundaries or transform the relationship to be more positive in your life.

16. Connect inwardly.

Photo by Patrick Kennedy

Our lives are increasingly interconnected with others, yet disconnected with ourselves. Through the people we live with, work with, interact with on our daily errands, and communicate with on the internet – we often spend most of our days with an outward focus. Cultivating an inward focus in order to know ourselves and our spirit is essential to feeling renewed and energized for the work of our days.
Take time daily to sit still with yourself, learn to hear your inner thoughts, come to know your spirit’s voice – its dreams, fears, longings, needs. Give your whole self the opportunity to grow and be cared for.

The next time you are feeling a lull in your day, try something from this list to help boost your energy. Or better yet, be proactive and begin to incorporate some of these techniques throughout your day to stay at the top of your game.

Do you struggle with low energy or energy dips? Do you rely on “energy crutches” to get through the day? How do you stay energized from morning to night?

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10 (Cheap and Easy) Ways to Pamper Yourself

Kate — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 05:01:57 +0000

The following is a guest post by Kate from Modern Alternative Mama.

Let’s face it. If you’re a mom, you’re busy. It doesn’t matter what you do with your time: whether you work or stay home, volunteer or home school, cook up a storm or craft, not to mention driving the kids from activity to activity. Being a mom is the definition of being busy.

That means you need a little pampering here and there. But who has the time? If you have a free moment, an extra load of laundry could get done. You could finally repair the tear in Johnny’s soccer uniform. Or you could even, you know, spend some time with your husband.

Plus, it’s so expensive. $20 for a dinner out with the girls? You could feed your entire family for two days – all three meals – on that. For these reasons (and more), mom-pampering-time often gets overlooked.

But what if there were ways to pamper yourself that were truly simple? Ways that were very cheap or even free, which did not require large amounts of time or advance planning? Would you do it then?

I’m betting yes. And if your answer is, “Well, maybe…” then you need to think harder about this. If you’re busy trying to be Super Mom, you need a break. You deserve a break. You’ll feel happier and saner and bring that positive energy back to your family.

So let’s get to the good stuff! Here are ten ways to pamper yourself that are cheap and easy.

1. Call a friend to catch up.

Is there someone you haven’t talked to in awhile? Put the kids down for a nap (or “quiet time”) and give her a call. Save it for the weekend if you have to and make your husband take the kids out to play for awhile. Enjoy a nice, long chat that’s mostly about your friendship, not your kids. Feel happy because you’ve remembered old parts of yourself and gotten a verbal hug from a friend.

2. Have a cup of tea (or coffee).

Photo by Kay Yuen

You might do this every morning, but do you really enjoy it? Set out to enjoy it this time. Choose a nice-flavored beverage instead of the plain-old usual stuff. Take it to a comfortable spot and just sip it and enjoy it. It’s not about waking up, getting your caffeine fix, or simple hydration. No, it’s about a quiet moment with a soothing, delicious drink. Variation: wait till the kids are in bed and make it an “adult” beverage.

3. Take a warm bath alone.

When was the last time you took any form of bath or shower alone? I know if I take a shower when my kids are awake that at least one of them will undoubtedly join me. This time, it’s just for you. Do it after the kids are in bed, or while your husband promises his very best to keep them occupied elsewhere. Make the bath warm, add some bubbles or herbs to make it fancy, light a candle, turn on some music, bring a book. Or just take a nap. But enjoy your bath and remember: no kids allowed!

4. Have tea and cookies with a friend.

Remember those days of long, uninterrupted face-to-face conversations over tea or coffee? And how they’re so far gone now? Well, find an afternoon where you can join your friend – at your place or hers, or at a local coffee house if you prefer – alone to talk and share a snack. Catch up and enjoy the silence and ability to remember what you’re saying because you’re not worried that Johnny is going to climb on the nearby table to get that oh-so-interesting house plant.

5. Wear a fancy outfit on a regular day.

A lot of moms get to the point where they just wear sweat pants and t-shirts all the time. Make-up? Who has time? And fancy clothes seem impractical. Maybe they are, but don’t you feel pretty and happy in them? So choose a day when you’re not going to be making too much mess (read: the day you start the garden or finger painting during playgroup are not good days) to dress in a pretty outfit. Do your hair, put on make up, wear earrings. Who cares if you, your husband, and your children are the only ones who see you? You’ll feel happy and confident just knowing that you look good, and that you have beaten that silly stereotype about moms who “let themselves go.” At least for today.

6. Buy a treat just for you at the grocery store.

Photo by Martin L

At the store, you probably spend a lot of time buying treats for your kids – or saying, “No, we are not buying that package of cookies!” But when the kids aren’t looking, sneak a special treat into the cart, just for you. It could be ice cream, or your favorite fancy cheese, or some lox for your Sunday bagels. It doesn’t matter; choose whatever you like the best but never buy for yourself. Then enjoy it before the kids get up or after they go to bed. I used to love doing this when my husband had guy’s nights and my kids were asleep!

7. Watch your favorite show in peace.

This was my other favorite thing to do on my husband’s guy’s nights. I get the remote to myself? Get comfortable, grab your favorite snack, and settle in to watch whatever you love best, alone. And if it’s a love story, it might just make you sappy and sighing and excited about how much you love your husband and your children. That can only be good, right?

8. Read a good book (or magazine).

Who has time to read? But make the time. Take it in that bath with you, or just read during nap time or after your kids are in bed for the night. Sit back and get lost in the fantasy world of a novel, or just someone else’s life (like in a magazine). Make it a fun read, though — parenting tomes don’t count. I read a chapter a night of my current favorite book and it helps me relax and sleep.

9. Have an at-home date night.

Okay, this isn’t completely about you. But most women complain they don’t spend enough time with their husbands, so this will totally fix that. Fix the kids a simple, easy dinner (boxed mac’n’cheese, carrot sticks, and a banana – done) and put them to bed early. Then cook a special dinner just for you two (or, if you’re not the cooking type, ask hubby to step up, or just call your favorite take out place). Eat by candle light, enjoy your favorite movie, or just have a real conversation that isn’t about who is going to pick up the kids at soccer practice or do the grocery shopping. Talk about your hopes and dreams! Bonus? You don’t have to pay a babysitter.

10. Get a massage.

Okay, this one’s not free. And maybe not even that cheap. Of course, if you can talk your husband into giving you the massage — maybe at the end of the at-home date night? But if not, maybe your husband will gift you a massage for Mother’s Day — or just a, “Hey honey, you work really hard and I love you” day. Either way, it will be soooooo relaxing and worth it.

11. Bonus!

Buy yourself a pretty smelling candle and light it whenever you’re feeling stressed. The happy smell and cheerful flicker will lift your mood instantly.

Is pampering yourself doable? Yes — you just have to make time for it. Ask your husband to put the kids to bed tonight, or take them out on a special Dad-and-kids afternoon and steal a bit of time for yourself. And since most of these include frugal items which you probably already have at home, you don’t have to plan in advance. How awesome is that?

What’s your favorite way to pamper yourself?

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The Truth that No One Admits About New Year’s Resolutions

Lisa — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 06:51:20 +0000

The following is written by health columnist Lisa Byrne of The Well Grounded Life.

It happens every year.

Right about now, the gyms that were once hopping on Jan 2 are getting quieter and quieter. The brand new yoga pants are spending more time in the closet than in class. And ice cream sales are back up to their normal rates.

But of course, we know not everyone loses steam on their health goals after the new year.

Some people are on track to running their first 5K. Others are having a blast exploring new, delicious and healthy meals that their whole family enjoys. And a few are getting up 15 minutes early every morning for some soul-quiet time before they start the day.

What’s the difference between the people who fizzle out early, and those that stay the course to reach their goals?

Is it really all just about willpower?

New Year’s Day can be a great psychological jump start for thinking about what changes you’d like to see in your life. Whether you prefer the term resolutions, intentions, goals, or visions, it’s all ultimately about action and choice.

But here’s the catch that is often overlooked:

It isn’t about big actions and big choices.

It’s really about thousands of small actions and small choices that make up our days and weeks and months, until the new year rolls around again. Being resolute to change your course and live the life you truly desire doesn’t work if you are only resolute one day of the year.

The trick is finding a way to stay committed daily, weekly, and monthly to your big vision changes. It’s seeing your direction so clearly that you can keep coming back to the path over multitude times of veering ever-so-slightly off.

I’ve worked with hundreds of women this past year and this is what has been true for every single one of them — major change happens when they finally believed that the small choice in front of them was the most important choice.

They stopped seeing simple actions as impotent, and started recognizing the power in elementary things like taking a large glass of water first thing in the morning, or pausing when their stress triggers were engaged, and choosing first to take a few deep and purposeful breaths.

As a health coach, one of the tell-tale signs for me that someone is perpetually stuck in the “big change” mindset is when they tell me that “tomorrow, next week, or this Monday” is when they plan to start their diet.

It is so tempting to start our big changes with a big bang and big fanfare. But the truth is what you are doing right now, this next moment, today, is a much larger prediction to where you will be a year from now.

As you build the habit of making choices that match your vision day in and day out– within the messy, unpredictable, hectic life you lead, that vision becomes your life. You are living the transformation, not waiting for some magical time in the future when you get “there.”

How to reach your goals with what you’ve got right now:

1. Identify what you want more of this year.

2. Consider — what elements of your life (what actions, thoughts, choices, foods, experiences, emotions, moods, or tasks) align most closely with what you want more of?

3. How could you increase those things, choose them, or prioritize them today? Maybe even right this moment, could you bring something in- a positive thought, a deep breath, a good stretch, a nourishing snack, a wide smile, a prayer of gratitude?

4. Finally, ask yourself — what supports, skills, education, or growth opportunities could you bring into your life that will keep you on track and equip you for the daily commitment of shifting into a new direction?

If your vision includes living a healthier, lighter, calmer, and happier life, I’d like to invite you to learn more about my upcoming program which is beginning next Saturday, January 29.

Designed for Wellness is a 12 week online, multimedia course for busy moms who are interested in stepping into a whole new level of their health and well being.

While I know this course isn’t for everyone, I’m asking you to check it out to first see if it might be a good fit.

If it is, joining could be the catalyst for a year of tremendous growth and transformation.

And if the course isn’t for you, that one small act of checking it out brought you one step closer to building a habit of action toward prioritizing your health and personal needs.

So the way, I see it, simply checking out the class is really a win/win decision!

A note from Tsh: So I’ve wanted to take Lisa’s class ever since she launched it awhile back — it sounded so good, but well, I’ve never had the time. Perhaps I should say I’ve never made the time. So as part of my 2011 goal of saying NO to all but the unimportant, I’ve decided to take the class this season. I’m absolutely ecstatic to be doing something solely for the purpose of taking care of myself. I’ve needed this. I’ll let you know how it is… Or maybe you need it, too? Then you should join me. We’ll be in Lisa’s class together!

What small action will you do today to bring you closer to goals you set for the new year?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

The Truth that No One Admits About New Year’s Resolutions is a post from Simple Mom

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