Comments on: Sharing a Room: Is It Okay for Brothers & Sisters?

By: C

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:25:02 +0000

This is a great topic. I have two sons, ages 3.5 and 2. They each have separate rooms mostly because their rooms are small and there is not enough room to fit two beds in one of them (if there was enough room I would probably have them share and use one as a play room). Their rooms are joined by a jack-and-jill bathroom so to them it is like one big room in a way. Often in the mornings I find them together in the same bed. We will probably be moving from Florida, USA to London, UK so there will be a MAJOR downsize and they almost certainly will have to share. I don’t really have any problem with this. At one point I thought each kid should have his or her own room (probably because I did as a kid) but I have certainly changed my mind after becoming a parent of two boys. They love being together. I was an only child so I had a room to myself and often had nightmares as a little one. Obviously I don’t have a boy and a girl so I am not sure what I would do in that case. If I had the space I probably would separate them but I think it really depends on each family and the kids individually. Different kids will have different needs. One thing people seemed to be concerned about in several other posts was children of opposite genders “exploring.” I have several things to say about this. First, I don’t think this is as big of a deal as some people think. When I was around 5 I have memories of doing this kind of thing with a neighborhood 5-year-old boy and I know loads of other people who have the same experience. Truly, at that young age it is not a big deal and I would not consider this abuse. If parents are worried about this I guess I would just say to talk to your kids in an age appropriate way. Obviously though, it would be a problem if there was a significant age gap or other relevant factors were in place, but I think this can happen even if kids don’t share a room.

By: Emma

Emma — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:13:16 +0000

I have a sister who is two years older than me and a brother 4 years younger. My parents would try different combinations of who was sharing a room and my brother and I got along better than my sister and I did. We shared a room until I was 11 and starting middle school and then they converted the dining room to another bed room. I remember I liked sharing a room with my brother, my sister and I fought too much and I got lonely and bored in a room by myself.

My friend however had to share a room with her brother until she left for college, this was harder for her since she and her brother were both in high school. She never felt comfortable inviting friends over to her house and when I was over, we never played in her room. I think I was only in her room once. So at that point I would say they were a little too old to be comfortably sharing a room.

By: mindy

mindy — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:54:55 +0000

My daughter (age 7) and son (age 4.5) share a room. We have another son (7 months) and unless we are able to do some remodeling, in another two years we may have a boys room and a girls’ room. We could have each child in their own room right now, but we like having a guest room (which doubles as my craft room) and a play room, and we also like the idea of kids bonding and sharing. Honestly, I feel okay with boys and girls sharing a room at least up until age 12. There are bathrooms/other rooms to change in, and my husband and I don’t really think kids need privacy.

Just my $.02

By: Ashley

Ashley — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:18:50 +0000

We’re currently renting a three bedroom house… One BD is obviously Mommy and Daddys… the two littles (boy -6mo and girl-2yrs) share a room… the third BD is storage/den… we turned one of our entryways (doesn’t get used for an entryway) into a toy room/area… I could even see adding a few more kiddos to the kids BD using bunks… I like having them both in the same room, except when they wake each other up from naps, etc. It’s nice to have one location for everything!

Ashley´s last blog post…I’m ready, Lord… is it time?

By: sarah

sarah — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:55:13 +0000

We currently live in a three bedroom apartment, and my 6 yo son and 4yo daughter share one bedroom for sleeping, and the other as a playroom. Soon we are moving into a two bedroom house, where obviously they will continue to share a bedroom. They have bunkbeds, although most nights we still play some kind of version of musical beds. I think it is somewhat ridiculous that gender plays a role in determining whether children should share a room or not - the intimation being that sexual abuse will occur if they share a room. If sexual abuse occurs between your children, there are many more opportunities for it to happen than just at night time. From what I can find online, the US doesn't seem to have laws against sibling room sharing, but rather laws restricting the bedroom arrangements of foster children and families living is public housing. Also, judges can consider bedroom arrangements in custody determination. And on a personal note, I would advise parents to NEVER let CPS into your home unless they have the police with them with a signed warrant. I know of several situations where families allowed them in thinking it would make things easier, and then once in CPS found a different cause from the the one originally stated to remove the children - mold in the bathroom? dirty dishes in the kitchen? Even if you are found not at fault, it can take months to get your kids back. The "family toys" concept has worked really well for us, too. We often ask family members to gift one bigger toy to each kid, and Santa even brings a shared toy or two. When a toy is brand new, each kid has more "control" over it, but soon it is on the common shelves with everything else. My kids just take it for granted, since this is the way we have always done it. sarah´s last blog post...funky smell = yummy dinner

By: Taylor at Household Management 101

Taylor at Household Management 101 — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:13:24 +0000

My kids do not currently share rooms, and that is because they really do love each other and would talk and talk all night long. In fact, they do when we have guests and they do end up sharing a room. But, we will need to move our baby girl into our son's room soon, as she is outgrowing her crib and then we cannot put her in the office/baby room we have her in now. Eventually the baby and my oldest, another girl, will need to share a room eventually. Right now, while they are young, sorting by age is best. Later, when they are older, sorting by gender is best. At least, that is what I think now, but I haven't put it into practice yet! Taylor at Household Management 101´s last blog post...Mar 30, Household Inventory: Why Your Family Should Create One

By: Kids Compendium: Your Questions Answered

Kids Compendium: Your Questions Answered — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 06:25:24 +0000

[...] room, at least while they’re young. Kids crave company. Simple Mom shared insights about her kids sharing a room. (Be sure to see the thoughtful discussion in the [...]

By: BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » Boys and girls sleeping together - it happens

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:28:25 +0000

[...] saw a blog at Simple Mom that talks about this very thing, with over 67 comments agreeing and disagreeing with the custom. A [...]

By: Heather

Heather — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:03:48 +0000

Thank you so much for this wonderful article. I will soon be transitioning my 3 month old daughter out of our bedroom and into our 22 month old son’s room. I’ve been worrying myself sick about it. I never shared a room, and it’s wonderful to read that so many have had such positive experiences with it.

Heather’s last blog post…Pictures of Joe Joe and Lily from last weekend

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:31:23 +0000

I’m so happy to have stumbled upon this post and all of the wonderful comments here. I have always worried about the effects of my children sharing a room (DS is now 11.5, DD is 8), as I grew up an only child and never had to share anything with anybody!

As we live in Paris and 3 bdrm apartments are very hard (read expensive) to come by, not helped by the fact that I’m a single mum, they don’t have a choice. At least here it is just the two of them; they share a bedroom with their little brother (4) at their dad’s one week out of two. They all get along pretty well and loft beds with desks beneath have really helped things and I guess, from reading the above, that they won’t be scarred for life, I hope!