Written by contributor Robin Dance of Pensieve.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
~ Unattributed Chinese proverb

As is often the case, one of the best things a parent can give their teenager is hardly a thing at all: it’s room.

Room…

• to make their own decisions and to enjoy the sense of accomplishment associated with wise choices—or—to endure the consequences or poor choices;
• to learn life lessons never taught in a class or between pages in a book; and
• to grow.

Parenting is tricky; time doesn’t play fair.

Days are long, years are short—before we know it, our pre-pubescent grade-schooler is learning to drive! There are no defining lines to mark seasons in development; they rarely occur overnight. Sometimes shift is so subtle you don’t even realize it when you’ve left one stage and entered the next.

My point?

[Read more...]

Mary Jane was the first person I ever hired, and I vividly recall her response to my question about her greatest accomplishment:

“Raising my two sons to be responsible adults, both out of college with meaningful careers, considerate of and generous to others, and one now married and expecting his first baby.”

It wasn’t the rehearsed answer I anticipated, and it set her apart from the other less mature applicants. Like two strangers at a wedding, it was an exchange that began constructing a framework for my parenting philosophy when my babies were merely eye twinkles:

I now knew my end game.

You don’t raise your little children to become bigger children, you raise them to become adults. I’d wager the majority of parents agree with that sentiment, but realizing it early on and allowing it to inform how you parent is key.

There’s a constant parenting push and pull—eagerly anticipating and celebrating markers and milestones, while resisting time’s swift flight.

Focusing on the bulls eye makes a difference in hitting the target.
[Read more...]