Written by contributor Lisa Byrne of WellGrounded Life.

The other day I was working with a private coaching client and listening to her share about her struggles with junk food cravings.

I was listening to this smart woman share about her struggles and I heard things like, “Oh, I just totally gave in“, “I knew I shouldn’t be eating it,” and “This was so bad but I ate it anyway….and then I just couldn’t stop.”

And though those were her literal words, what I heard was something much deeper. It’s something that so many of us do all the time. We use food as a weapon.

We use food as a numbing agent.  We use food as a coveted illicit pleasure in a game where we test how long we can resist it to prove our strength.  We use food as everything but how it is meant to be used… an enjoyable, health-giving tool.

If you know my work, you know that I’m a huge anti-diet advocate. But many of us who don’t believe we are “dieters” still fall into the same traps by deeming some foods “bad.”  If you peek underneath—these foods are bad because we have made the rule that if we eat them we are bad.

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Written by Lisa Byrne of WellGrounded Life

A few weeks ago I was walking out of my children’s preschool when I bumped into another mom I’ve known casually over the past two years.

We stopped to say hello and catch up a bit, and the conversation moved into talking about my business. As I was telling her my story, I said, “Honestly, while I do have a passion for wellness, the real reason I began this business when I did was because I needed something of my own.”

See, we had been sharing about the intensity of mothering young ones and being home with them all day. And as soon as I made that comment, tears welled up in her eyes.

She stood there crying in the hallway as a huge wave of emotions overtook her, because she so deeply related to how I had felt a couple years ago. She felt disconnected to parts of herself that she deeply missed.

After a really long hug, we smiled and giggled a bit at how the lives of women can look so different on the outside but are really similar on the inside, and that we rarely talk about it. And also how good it feels when we do.

But the next part of the story is what I most want to share.

After her tears, we chatted about what she used to do before becoming a mother. We even started to brainstorm around how she may start to weave things she used to love doing back into her world.

And then she stopped. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Really, though, I think I’m just so tired. I wonder how much of this would feel so intense if I could just get a good night’s sleep.”

Bang. In a moment’s time, I was instantly reminded of the wisdom she just tapped. So often we jump right to thinking the solution is in some higher-level change…when all along, we’ve chronically ignored the minimum requirements for thriving.

Our basic, fundamental needs…

Ask yourself these things:

1. Food: How are you feeding yourself?
2. Rest: How are you sleeping?
3. Calm: How are you handling stress?
4. Activity: How are you moving (aka exercising)?

Yes, of course we need love and joy, laughter and fresh air.  We need spiritual connection and mental stimulation and creativity and purpose.  But the truth is, a chronically sleep-deprived mama living off of Diet Coke and cheese doodles is nowhere near as prepared to experience the kind of deep, vital, and vibrant life meant for her. To some degree, we simply must take care of the basics first.

We often breeze past these fundamental needs and go straight to fixing the higher-level needs in our life.  But if we don’t have a proper, sturdy foundation in place, any attempts at flying will fail.

In order to spread our wings, our roots need to be well established.

This time of year, we begin making big visions for our lives and crafting ambitious goals, which are all good and exciting.

But I encourage you, while you’re setting high-level goals for the new year, take time for a foundations assessment.x Inventory how you are doing in the four critical areas mentioned above. They will be the raw materials you need to succeed at wherever your life needs to expand and increase.

Lately I’ve been preparing to lead my signature course, Designed for Wellness, which starts in January 2012. And I’ve been thinking about the process of establishing goals that are truly reflective of where we are and where we want to be this time next year.

It seems to me that many women could use a simple, straightforward way to identify not just their ideal goals, but also the skills they need to meet their goals.

I created a three-part video series to take you through that exact process. If you’d like to gain access to these videos, at no cost, just click here and sign up. The first video will be sent to you immediately.

Each video will take you through a simple, targeted exercise that helps you focus on the specific goals that are right for you, as well as identify the actionable steps for getting there successfully.

I’d love to hear how you are doing in these four foundational areas. Which of the four areas are in most need of attention right now in your life?

Note from Tsh: I’m so excited to share this guest post from Lisa, Simple Mom’s health contributor. I consider Lisa my go-to health consultant, and I personally have benefited so much from what she’s taught me. And she is right on the money with today’s insanely important topic.

Written by health contributor Lisa Byrne of The Well-Grounded Life.

Most of us have a complicated relationship with refined sugar (the “white stuff”).  Today, I’ll be sharing the first steps you need to consider as you explore the role sugar plays in your life.

(Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. I have a free resource available that I’ll share more about later.)

Most of us have made certain conclusions about sugar that prevent us from truly understanding its role in our lives, and knowing exactly how to disentangle our unhealthy relationship to it.

Before we can talk about any level of sugar detox, we must get one fundamental truth straight:

Consuming refined sugar is not the same as our biological need for a sweet taste.

Eating large amounts of refined sugar is most certainly detrimental to your health, but the desire to satisfy your craving for sweet tastes is not only completely normal, you are hardwired for it.

Biologically, we seek out sweet-tasting things.  This begins at infancy, when we know that breast milk is delightfully sweet. This simple truth turns everything on its head. Your desire for sweet tastes is not “bad” or the result of failing will power.

You can stop beating yourself up and start the process of working with your design to release the stronghold refined sugar has on you.

Here are the three main steps to experience a successful, long-term sugar detox.
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