About Crystal

Crystal Hadidian has one son, two degrees, three tattoos and more books than any sane person who moves so often should have. In addition to parenting and working full-time, she dabbles in every creative medium possible. Born and raised in Austin, Texas, she now calls San Diego home. Check out her children's book, Grey and the Good Attitude Cape.

by Crystal on March 20, 2013 • 26 Comments Your Family

The basics of single parenting

In my daily life I have to continually refocus my efforts on the essentials. It’s an ongoing process of learning the difference between what I should do and what I can do.

My friends, family and therapist have to remind me of this often. I tend to think that I should be able to accomplish and stay on top of an unreasonable amount of projects and responsibilities.

The theme on Simple Mom this month is “back to the basics.” I’m no expert, but when I think about the basics of single parenting, I think of two things: community and self-care. As always, I realize these can apply beyond the realm single parenting, but that’s my focus here.
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by Crystal on December 26, 2012 • 13 Comments Kids: Developing Character Your Family

How to make next Christmas even better

Written by single parenting contributor Crystal Hadidian.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas yesterday! For some families, there may be another Christmas celebration today or later in the week with more friends or relatives. I wish you continued blessings, whatever your holidays may look like.

This year, my son was with me on Christmas and will be spending time with his father later in the week. Last year was my first Christmas without my son. Not my first Christmas as a single parent, but my first Christmas where my son was with his father and not his mother.

I think I handled it pretty well, because I was careful to plan in advance some ways to make the actual day of Christmas extremely meaningful, and not depressing. For me, this included starting the morning off at a monastery for some reflection and solitude, and then ending the day with close friends who were both sensitive and cheerful.

I made some notes in my journal that year about what I would repeat and what I would do differently. I knew I would forget two years later, the next time I had a Christmas without my son.

This year, I realized it would be helpful to also do this for the years that he is with me on Christmas day. Just because I get to spend Christmas with him, doesn’t mean I am not still co-parenting with his father.

Whether you are a single parent or not, here’s a quick and easy activity you can do to make next year’s holiday season even better than this year:
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by Crystal on November 23, 2012 • 17 Comments Kids: Developing Character Your Family

Communicating big ideas to young minds

Written by single parenting contributor Crystal Hadidian.

One of my favorite things about parenting is the challenge to communicate big ideas to a young mind. It isn’t just their limited vocabulary that requires you to get creative.

I just wrote a children’s book based on an experience with my son where using a super hero metaphor proved surprisingly effective. As you can see in the cover image above, it’s called Grey and the Good Attitude Cape.

Let me tell you the full story. Recently, I was in an exceptionally rough season of life with a lot of major transitions. My son and I were both feeling the effects. New apartment, new job, new schedule.

These life events are challenging for any family, and as a single parent, I was incredibly overwhelmed. My son was experiencing the stress of an inconsistent schedule between mommy’s house, helpful friend’s houses, and daddy’s house, and most of his toys were still in boxes.

Neither of us were sleeping well and we were both disappointed about not getting enough quality time together. The (at the time) three year old and his mommy were cranky.

I was floundering, trying to find a way to not only set a good example, despite exhaustion, but to also explain in words to a three year old that you can choose to be nice and thankful, even when things are hard.

I wanted to communicate that having a positive attitude is a choice. It doesn’t mean that you pretend you’re not disappointed or tired. It doesn’t mean that wanting more time to play with mommy is a bad thing.

It just means, that even when you can’t have what you want or need, you can still choose to use nice words when you ask for more milk or help with your shoes.

And just as important, when you realize you’re not having a good attitude, you can stop and change it. As I say in the book, “it takes strength to be kind even when you’re frustrated.”
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by Crystal on October 3, 2012 • 117 Comments Personal Growth You

A single mom takes off the superwoman cape

Written by (new) single parenting contributor Crystal Hadidian.

Hi. My name is Crystal and I’m a single mom.

I do not set an alarm to wake up before my son. I don’t volunteer at his preschool. I do not make my own toothpaste and I have not cooked from scratch in weeks. My email inbox and my laundry pile are both out of control and I have no plans to tame either. If I remember to bring something to a church potluck, it is rarely homemade.

While I’m on a roll, I’ll add a real confession: I used to judge single parents – whether they were divorced or not – I judged them and I made assumptions I had no right to make.

Oh wait. This isn’t Single Parents Anonymous? That’s right, this is Simple Mom. So how does a single mom also figure out how to be a simple mom? Or at the very least, how do I incorporate a bit more simplicity into daily life? Because that list of things I don’t do – those are good things I would like to be able to do.

I’m no single parenting expert. I’m just in the trenches with a toddler. But, I know I’m not the only loyal reader of this blog who is a single parent. And I know there’s got to be many of you in this community who may not have the tax filing status, but you still function as a single parent much of the time. Whether you’re a military mom or dad, married to someone who is unable to or has chosen not to be engaged in parenting, your experience and challenges are similar.
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