Written by relationships columnist Corey Allan of Simple Marriage.
Here’s one of the biggest pieces of relationship advice presented in books and websites: To have a great marriage you must learn how to compromise.
So that we’re all on the same page, the dictionary defines compromise as: an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
Sounds great … on paper. But when you get right down to it, in most every marriages, people don’t compromise, they cave.
If you’re working to create a great story in your life and marriage, then central to that goal is resisting the temptation to compromise on things that are most important. Things like your values and your identity.
Put another way—if you’re working towards creating a great life and marriage, should you lower your standards to accomplish it?
And put yet another way, a great life and marriage are the result of a person living from the best in themselves and by defending what’s true and right. This is never about compromise. So if you’re better off not compromising yourself to yourself, you certainly aren’t better off compromising with your spouse.
After all, isn’t your spouse the one person with whom you’re supposed to share what’s true and right? And how can doing what’s truly best for you personally also not be what’s truly best for your marriage?
In case you haven’t figured out, I don’t believe in compromise.