2009 December | Simple Mom

by Tsh on December 31, 2009 • Self-Care You

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection

Today I’m at (in)courage, where I’ve posted my annual 20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection. Comments are closed here, so I hope you’ll participate over there! Here’s a snippet from the post:

I’m in favor on new year’s resolutions – but why not also use the turn of the clock to reflect on this past year? Before deciding on how you want 2010 to be different than 09, take a moment with your journal and answer some – or all – of these questions.

These questions can be a catalyst for digging deeper into personal reflection, or they can be icebreakers between you and your spouse for a New Year’s Eve conversation. However you want to use them – use them to your benefit.

Looking for the PDF download?

If you’d like to print out 20 Reflection Questions for 2009 to use at a family gathering or intimate party, or to jot down your personal answers with a pencil, head to Simple Mom’s download page and get your free copy. Enjoy! Head here tomorrow to download a free worksheet to help you generate good personal and family goals for 2010.

And have a fun, safe New Year’s Eve.

by Megan on December 30, 2009 • 56 Comments Family Bonding Your Family

10 questions to encourage engaged parenting in a new year

As the last days of this year tick off of the calendar, many people are drawn to introspection and reflection. For parents, these last days of the year offer space to sit down and intentionally consider how you are working to become the parent you want to be for your children.

If you have a few moments of downtime this week, I encourage you to not only think through the answers to these questions, but also take time to write down your answers. If you don’t have time for a written response, consider speaking your answers out loud to increase the impact of your reflections.

Parenting personality

1. How do you think your children have experienced you as a parent this past year?

If your children are old enough to respond (and if you are feeling brave!), you might ask them this question. For those with younger children, take a moment to get behind their eyes and think about how they see you and experience you on a day-to-day basis.

2. How do you want your children to experience you as a parent in this new year?

I desire for my children to know that people are more important than projects. For me, that means I need to be more attentive to how I manage my time. I want for my children to experience me as a mother who is genuinely engaged with them throughout each day. In the coming year, I want to be more affectionate, less frazzled, more gracious, and less preoccupied.

Hit the highlights

3. What aspects of parenting brought you the most joy this past year?

It is so easy at the end of the year to think back on all the ways we believe we missed the mark, rather than celebrating our personal best. Take time to relive and relish your Parenting Hall of Fame moments from this past year.

4. What are you looking forward to with great anticipation in this new year?

As our toddler grows through the twos and into the threes, I know we have exciting times ahead. I can only imagine how her vivacious, life-loving personality will develop as she matures in the next year. We are taking a special trip as a family in the summer, and I know we will come home with many memories and stories.

Strengths and challenges

lunchbox
Photo by playingwithbrushes

5. As you survey your parenting toolbox, which tools do find to be working well for your family, and which tools could use some sharpening?

I know exactly which tools I need to seek out and add to my own parenting toolbox. I want to learn more about how to respond rather than react when situations become tense. I know that the moments I choose a calm response rather than an agitated reaction are the moments when the outcome is more peaceful for everyone.

Of the tools that are working the best for me as a parent, I have to say the most helpful is connecting with parenting communities (online and face-to-face) to share insight, advice, feedback, and perspective. The older my children are, the more I realize that I need the support and friendship of others to encourage me in the day-to-day work of parenting. I have been blessed by amazing communities of support in the past year.

Building connections

6. How have you pursued your children in the past year?

Sometimes we take for granted that our children want to be known by us. Children are not developmentally able to grasp many abstract concepts such as love, interest, and devotion. Parents must find concrete ways to deliberately and demonstratively put actions to our words of love.

7. What actions will you take to be more engaged with your child in this new year?

With babies and younger children, this can be something as simple as spending a little extra time reading favorite books or splashing around in the bathtub with them. For older children, a genuine interest in what interests them might show them you want to really get to know the person they are becoming.

Mending missteps

mamababy
Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

8. Is there any aspect of your relationship with your child that has been strained by unforgiveness or regret?

The dawn of a new year is an ideal time to start fresh and new. Every relationship will have pain, misunderstanding, and frustration at some point. Now is the time to examine the reality of your relationship with your children – not to bring more pain to the surface, but rather to actively seek out healing.

9. Is there an unresolved issue for which you need to offer your child forgiveness, or do you need to ask for forgiveness from your child?

I had to stop and ask for the forgiveness of my daughters today in the parking lot of our local discount store after a particularly unhappy shopping trip. I had been terse, short, and unkind to each of them as we zoomed through the store. There was an obvious disconnection between the three of us, and it is remarkable how quickly we can reconnect once forgiveness has been asked for and given.

10. What actions will you take to nurture a healthy connection with your children in this new year?

A great way to promote engaged parenting is to build in checkpoints through the day or through the week. Perhaps each night at bedtime could become a special time of conversation in which you talk through the joys and the pains of the day. Maybe every Sunday night in your home allows time for a family meeting in which each member of the family has time to share thoughts, problems, hurts, and encouragement.

Engaged parenting doesn’t happen by accident. It requires action, reflection, and assessment. As we embark on the journey that is 2010, there will be bountiful opportunities to grow more into the parent you want to be.

Do you have year-end rituals or practices that pertain to parenting to share? What questions or comments would you add to this starting point?

by Tsh on December 28, 2009 • 67 Comments Money Management You

Making Financial Goals for 2010

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and I started to talk about our financial goals for 2010. We’ve got a number of categories to talk over for the next few days, so we decided to jump in the deep end with money — it affects so many of the other goals we’ll discuss. In a few weeks, I thought I’d start a series on this blog covering some basic financial steps, so our chat was a good primer to kick off the year.

I’ve been so inspired by my friend Crystal at Money Saving Mom, whose family goal is to buy a house with 100 percent cash. In 2009, they went from having 33 percent in January to ending the year with more than 75 percent. edit: Actually, according to Crystal’s post today, they ended the year at 100 percent! If they can make that much progress in just one year, anybody can. I know Crystal would say the same.

Evaluating 2009

In January, we had a few thousand dollars left to pay off our school loans. By April, we had everything paid off and could — for the first time in our adult lives — say that we were completely debt-free.

Our next goal was to save up six months of living expenses, and had planned to finish that off by the end of 2009. By God’s grace, we hit our goal by August.

So this fall, we saved up enough cash to take our first family vacation in years, and it was such a blessing to celebrate together. And so for 2010, we’re turning the page and looking ahead at making more financial goals.

Looking Ahead to 2010

Since we more or less follow Dave Ramsey’s financial plan, finishing our emergency fund means we are technically on baby step 4 — increase our retirement savings. But we have more that we’d like to save up for, so we’re tacking on some baby steps “3b,” “3c,” and “3d.”

vintage car
Photo by Sue

1. Vehicle Fund

We don’t own a car for two reasons — we live in a city that has great public transportation, and we’re borrowing a car for the next few months from friends who are out of town. But since our third child is due early this summer, we’ve decided that we definitely need to own a car for our sanity.

Since we won’t take on debt, we’ll save up the cash and buy a late model, used, reliable car. This is our baby step 3b.

Goal: 100 percent by May 2010

2. Baby Fund

Yes, we have good insurance, and yes, almost all of our prenatal care and birth will be covered. But since we live overseas and the medical care here doesn’t recognize American insurance, we get the thrill of paying for everything in cash and waiting for the insurance company’s reimbursement. That means we’ll need to save everything up in cash first — that’s baby step 3c for us.

Goal: 100 percent by June 2010

3. Down Payment Fund

We rent, and are happy about that (especially while we’re living overseas). But we hope to buy a home sometime soon, and eventually we’d like to custom build our own design. That means we need a solid down payment, and that doesn’t magically appear out of thin air.

We would love to follow Crystal’s lead and put 100 percent down on a home. In the meantime, our goal is at least a 20 percent down payment on a 15-year fixed rate mortgage.

So after we save up for our vehicle, we’ll start this down payment fund in June 2010, making that our baby step 3d.

Goal: 50 percent of a down payment by December 2010

4. Increase Retirement Fund

In Ramsey’s plan, he recommends putting aside 15 percent of your income into a pre-tax retirement account and tax-free accounts. Rather radically, he advises to stop all retirement contributions while you’re working baby steps 1 through 3. We honestly didn’t do that — but we did keep it low. But now that we’re done with those steps, we’ll jack it up to 15 percent.

Goal: Increase retirement to 15 percent, starting in January 2010

couple feet
Photo by Sasha Wolff

The Value of Goal Making

When you have concrete goals, you can rest confidently knowing that your money is working for you. Money isn’t scary anymore because it’s simply a tool, not a master. And when you make goals together with your spouse, it strengthens your marriage in so many other areas.

I hope you have the time in the next few days to talk over financial goals in 2010 with your spouse. Next Monday, I’ll start reviewing Dave Ramsey’s baby steps, which I know will energize me to approach this year’s financial goals with eagerness. I hope it will for you, too.

What financial goals from this past year can you celebrate? What are your plans for 2010?

by Tsh on December 25, 2009 • Inspiration Unused

Merry Christmas!

“In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.’

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!‘ When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.’”

– from Luke 2:15, English Standard Version of the Bible

by Aimee on December 23, 2009 • 23 Comments food & drink

17 Last-Minute Gift Ideas from Your Pantry

Chances are if the title of this post caught your eye, there are still a few names on your gift list you just haven’t gotten around to shopping for – and now it’s the eve of Christmas Eve.

At this point I strongly advise against heading out of the house to shop, for you will only endure painfully long line-ups, grumpy sales clerks, crowded parking lots, and, if you live in the north as I do, slippery roads.

Instead, why don’t you slip into something cozy, wrap on an apron, choose an item or two from this list and create a delicious homemade food gift?

Here’s how you can get the most out of this post. There are 17 homemade edible gift items that are varied enough to suit anyone on your list. They are divided into three groups by the estimated amount of time it takes to make them.

Some recipes are included here, others are found elsewhere, although I’ve listed the ingredients for each recipe so you can see at a glance if your pantry has them in stock before you click through to the recipe. Salt is the only item not listed, as that is one staple I can safely assume each kitchen has!

Container Check

Before you get started, do a quick check of potential containers you have on hand that would work for presenting your recipe. Homemade food gifts can be transported in many different ways, but often the container can limit your choice of what to make. If you’re loving the walnut and dried-fruit topping, for example, but have no jars, things could get a little sticky.

Here is a wide variety of suggestions to choose from:

Bags – clear cellophane or brown paper decorated with children’s art
Jars – any size or shape will do
Bottles – good for oils and vinegars
Tins – all shapes and sizes; antiques are particularly charming
Dishes – a pretty mug, an ice cream bowl, an espresso cup
Small boxes – you can cover them in Christmas paper
Small flower pots
Baskets
Wax paper and ribbon
Baking tins, mini loaf pans, or small pie pans

Now round up as much ribbon as you can — there should be plenty of leftovers from the Christmas gift wrapping — and get the kids set up with stiff paper and markers to make and decorate labels for your homemade gifts.

INSTANT Gifts

jelly

1. Homemade Jam, Jelly and Preserves

Don’t disregard this summer’s spaghetti sauce as too plain! As far as I am concerned, any type of home preserve is liquid gold.

2. Homemade Cookies and Holiday Baked Goods

That college student on your list is going to appreciate a tin of these.

3. Vanilla sugar

Pantry Items: sugar, vanilla bean

10 Minute Gifts

4. Salted Cocoa Roasted Hazelnuts

Pantry Items: nuts, butter, sugar, eggs, cocoa

5. Honey, Walnut & Dried-Fruit Topping

Pantry Items: walnuts, dried cranberries, dried apricots, honey

6. Herb oil

Pantry Items: Olive Oil, fresh herbs

Infused oil is a great way to add quick flavor to salad dressings, marinades, or vegetables dishes. I make mine with rosemary because I’ve got a big bushy plant of it, but you can use most any fresh herb here. Sage, thyme, oregano and tarragon would all be top choices for me, as well as rosemary.

Here is the basic method; estimate 4-5 generous stems of herbs for each cup of olive oil.

Sterilize bottles or jars.
Wash herbs and part dry.
Warm olive oil in a pot.
Stuff herbs in bottles.
Top with warm oil.
Allow to cool, then top with cork or screw cap.
Label and include instructions to remove herbs after a week.

7. Savory and Sweet Spiced Walnuts

Pantry Items: nuts, egg, sugar, whole orange, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves

8. Cookies in a Jar

Pantry Items: flour, baking powder, baking soda, oats, M&M’s, chocolate chips, white & brown sugar, (pecans), eggs, butter, vanilla

You’ve heard of pancake mix and muffing mix, but Bakerella brings us a perfected ‘cookie kit’ that is too cute for words. Layer the dry ingredients in a jar and in the label or tag, include remaining ingredients to be added (egg,vanilla, and butter), as well as baking instructions.

9. Hot Cocoa Mix

cocoa

Everyone loves homemade hot cocoa, especially at Christmas. It’s fast to stir together the ingredients and then package in bags or jars for gifts. Mix it up by layering mini marshmallows, crushed candy cane, cinnamon, espresso powder or mini chocolate chips in the jar–just not all at once! Include a mug and a spoon, if you have some to spare.

2 cups nonfat dry milk powder
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/8 teaspoon sea salt

Measure all of the ingredients into a mixing bowl and stir until they are evenly blended.
Include these instructions in the packaging: Spoon 3 or 4 generous tablespoons of cocoa mix into your cup, add 6 oz boiling water, and stir well. Enjoy!

10. Ridiculously Easy Butterscotch Sauce

Pantry Items: unsalted butter, brown sugar, heavy cream, vanilla

30 Minute Gifts

11. Aimee’s Canadian Mincemeat

Pantry Items: apple or cranberry juice, whole cranberries (fresh or frozen), brown sugar, spices, currants, raisins, dried cranberries, apples, whisky or brandy, maple and/or vanilla extract, maple syrup, honey

Don’t be daunted by the lengthy list of ingredients; this yummy pie or tart filling is simple to make and a holiday classic.

12. Peppermint Bark

Pantry Items: semi-sweet chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, peppermint extract, candy canes

13. Peanut Butter Fudge

Pantry Items: sugar, butter, evaporated milk, peanut butter, marshmallow cream, vanilla

14. Caramel Crunch Bars

Pantry Items: flour, instant coffee, cinnamon, butter, brown & white sugar, vanilla, milk chocolate, Heath toffee bits

spice rub

15. Garam Masala

Pantry Items: whole cloves, black cardamom, cumin seed, cinnamon stick, mace, nutmeg

If you have the ingredients on hand, my Garam Masala spice blend makes a stunning and fragrant gift.

16. Pork and Poultry Spice Rub

Here is a classic spice rub from Martha Stewart for pork or poultry:

1/3 cup coarse salt
1/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
1/4 cup paprika
2 tablespoons ground black pepper
2 tablespoons dried oregano
2 tablespoons dried thyme leaves
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper (optional)

In a small bowl, combine all the ingredients, using your hands to break up the sugar. Package in small jars and label: ‘Store in a cool, dry place for up to 6 months.’

And finally, a simple taco seasoning.

17. Taco Seasoning

1 ½ tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp garlic powder
Ground red pepper flakes to taste
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients together and package the same as the Spice Rub above.

Packaging and Labeling

Remember, less is more; a simple ribbon or handmade label is often sufficient decoration. Obviously, if you are making many gifts, hand-written is a lovely personal touch, but printing labels is the most practical.

Think about to whom you are presenting the gift. They would probably appreciate a thoughtful note included with the gift, rather than an overdressed jar, so keep it simple and have fun!

No question today; you’ve got to get busy and make those gifts! But feel free to share your last-minute thoughts on the holiday season. Merry Christmas, one and all.