Cultivating a life of kindness with your kids

Selflessness. Doing something for someone else without expecting anything in return.

It’s a lovely sentiment and one I’m sure we’d all like to do a bit more often. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in our own little bubble. We can end up walking around with blinders on completely unaware of what’s going on around us.

When we do think about a random act of kindness we tend to think about doing a nice little thing for a complete stranger. What if I asked you to think within your family, who immediately comes to mind? Your husband? Your wife? Siblings or parents perhaps?

What about our kids? They aren’t the first people that usually come to mind. After all, they do get so much of our attention as it is. But they are little people, with little personalities that enjoy feeling special and being fussed over occasionally, just as you or I do. To some people doing special things for their own kids out of the blue is an alien concept.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry it doesn’t make you a bad person or parent. It means there is room for growth, relationship development and a whole lot of fun. Here are some nice things you can do for your kids to make them feel extra special from time to time.

1. Take on a chore.

This is something we can all relate to. Think of that one chore you really dread doing each and every week. Now imagine how nice it would be if someone jumped up and did it for you, right out of the blue – no questions asked!

Your kids are no different. Choose a chore or two that they aren’t particularly fond of and do it for them. You don’t have to tell them ahead of time or make a big deal about doing it. In fact it would be better if you didn’t.

2. Cook their favorite meal … together.

If your kids are anything like mine, there is a direct connection to their heart through their stomach (I think they get this from their dad). Spend the afternoon teaching your kid to make their favorite meal. Explain what you’re doing and what all the ingredients are.

Be positive, encouraging and make it fun. Make this even more special by going all out by having special drinks and snacks while you cook. Get your child their own apron and make sure they have a stool or a chair so they don’t miss out on any of the action.

3. Prince or Princess for a day.

princess girl
Photo by Hubert K

This can be fun so long as you bring a fantastic sense of humor and an air of positivity to the day. As the king or queen for the day, relinquish your kids of all that is normally expected of them. Be at their beck and call. Give them a bell so they can get your attention.

Sure, this will get old in about ten seconds, but take a minute and listen to the giggles and look at the smiles on their little faces each time you come back after hearing that bell. It’ll be something to remember!

4. Let them be the boss.

Allow your child to make all the decisions for the day. What time they get up, what everyone will eat for the day, family activities and special snacks. Help them out when you feel they need it; odds are they’ve never been given this level of responsibility before. Be supportive and encouraging.

Expect mistakes and delays. This is not only fun for your special little person, but it’s making them aware of what goes into planning most days. I’m all for learning disguised as fun!

5. Lazy day.

Set up a bed or big comfy spot on the living room floor complete with pillows, blankets, remotes and anything else you’ll need for the next few hours. Pop in their favorite movie and just take it all in.

This one is really nice to do when the little ones are sick. Nothing beats the cold or flu like a day under the covers watching movies. Stay in your pajamas all day and eat simple, light meals when you feel like it. Relaxing like this is a great way to reconnect with your family.

6. Mystery day.

Wake them up and ask them to get dressed but don’t tell them why or where you’re going. Tell them you have a great day planned but it’s all a mystery. They’ll certainly have fun pestering begging you to tell them where you’re going. Think shopping, lunch, and a movie followed by a snack after. Or breakfast, a trip to the museum, a snack, and go-kart racing. The possibilities are endless. Just keep in mind that this is their mystery day and activities should be geared towards them.

7. Breakfast in bed.

Let your kids sleep in a bit and wake them with their favorite meal. Sit in bed with them and talk about what you’ll do that day. Take this opportunity to reconnect with your child.

Find out how they are doing in school, if they have any new friends, or what sports they may be interested in this year. Be sure you approach it in a way that shows your genuine interest in them, not in a way that looks like you’re digging for information.

As with anything, the best way to teach your children to be kind is by setting a good example yourself. By doing something unexpected for your child, you’re showing them first hand what it feels like to have something nice done for them.

After you’ve had your fun, talk a bit about what you did. Ask them to think of ways they could pay it forward. Who could they do something nice for this week? What could they do?

What ideas do you have about extending extra kindness to your kids this week?

4 weeks till Christmas: decorate your home

This week’s task for our 12 Weeks to a Peaceful Christmas series? It’s a fun one. Decorate your home for the holidays.

12 weeks till christmas on simple momIf you’re American, you might still be relishing in the Thanksgiving leftovers and college football. As you enjoy that sweet family time, start pulling out the Christmas decor, a little at a time, and savor the fun of decorating simply.

Perhaps you can make paper snowflakes and tape them to the windows. Create a simple paper chain, counting down the days until Christmas (there’s 28 as of today). I love this simple-yet-classy craft project to create a snow flurry indoors.

Pop some popcorn, and make garland for your upcoming tree. Hang the stockings.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend, and savor the new anticipation of Christmas with your family.

What are your weekend plans?

Handmade gift ideas for tweens and teens

Those of you who have been following along with the 12 Weeks to a Peaceful Christmas series probably began your Christmas shopping weeks ago. For others, these final days of November (especially Black Friday here in the United States) are when the inertia and adrenaline of the holiday shopping season kick into high-gear.

As I planned out my own list of Christmas gifts this year, I decided this would be the first year I would not purchase anything from a big box store. I hope to take it a step further by buying handmade whenever possible.

Buying handmade items for babies, toddlers, and young children is generally very easy. There is no shortage of lovely handmade dolls, cars, and clothing to be found. Shopping for the older children and teenagers, however, can prove to be a little more challenging.

Here are some handmade gift ideas that might work wonderfully for the teen or tween in your life:

Jewelry and Accessories

wallet1
Photo by Atelier Encantado

Clothing

Games

chess
Photo by shoobydooby

Kits

Miscellaneous Ideas

christmastree
Photo by alancleaver

Most importantly, remember to give the gift of yourself – your time, energy, and interest. The focused and intentional time spent with the tween or teen in your life is sure to create memories that will last far longer than even the most meaningful gift you choose.

Do you find shopping for older children and teenagers to be exhilarating or exhausting? What gift ideas would you add to this list?

Simple, homemade deodorant: an effective, safe alternative

The following is a guest post from Katie at Kitchen Stewardship.

I haven’t worn deodorant since last Christmas.

I hope that wasn’t too personal for you. The best part is that I don’t stink, so there wouldn’t be anything to smell even if you visited my house (and that would really trip my husband out, so please don’t).

Wouldn’t you like to know why I gave up deodorant? (Antiperspirant, actually–there’s an important distinction.) I’ll tell you, but the even better question is: What’s on my armpits now?

Why Avoid Antiperspirant?

Since antiperspirant goes on skin that has often just been shaven, it’s going to be absorbed even more quickly than other products you put on your skin. Which, consequently, have as great an impact on your system as what you put in your mouth. Your skin is your largest organ, and one of its jobs is to absorb.

There’s a little experiment in Greg Horn’s book Living Green that proves this point: rub a cut clove of garlic on the sole of your foot. Within 15 minutes, you’ll taste garlic in your mouth.

The simple fact that my skin absorbs what I put on it is one reason to be cognizant and careful about any personal product — but antiperspirant has a few more. Last December I learned that antiperspirants (not deodorants) have aluminum as an active ingredient. This list gives me pause:

1. Aluminum may impact breast cancer risks.
2. Antiperspirants block sweat glands. Is that a good idea?
3. Aluminum mimics estrogen. (technical term: “hormone disruptor”)
4. Aluminum is linked to Alzheimer’s.

For more factual information and citations for this dismal list, see Analyzing Aluminum in Antiperspirants: Hazard or Hoax?

My mother tells me that in her youth (before antiperspirants were on the market, even though she’s not that old), everyone was just used to the feel of sweat. Now we’ve become accustomed to dryness, and sweating in the armpits seems like a problem. Isn’t sweat a bodily function that serves a purpose? I tend to believe that God had reasons for what He gave us, even if it feels a bit unpleasant.

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Lisa Leonard giveaway winners

Thanks for all your participation in the Lisa Leonard giveaway! I wish I could draw all 700+ names, but I can’t. So, here are the three winners:

• Lindsey, who said, “I just discovered her designs the other night!  I love her jewelry, I have to say my favorite is the family tree necklace.  Um….I could say I would give it to my mom, but that would be lying.  I’d keep it for myself!! :)

• Jan J, who said, “I would get the Chinese lanterns for ME because my daughters are adopted from China and we LOVE paper lanterns.  I rarely buy something for myself, but these are wonderful!”

• Jen, who said, “I would use the prize to buy the ring…  and I’d put my baby daughter’s name on it. She died in 2004, and I miss her every day.”

Congratulations, ladies!  Look for an email from Lisa soon.

For everyone else — Lisa’s jewelry makes wonderful holiday gifts, especially for those grandmas proud of their grandkids.  And well, mamas love them, too.  I still want one of each of her designs!  If you plan to give one as a gift, order soon, because each piece is custom made. Head to her shop now to place your order.

My family and I are leaving town for a week to celebrate Thanksgiving, so I’ve got some great guest posts lined up for you this week.  I’ll be back the following week, so in the meantime, have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday with your family!