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Attraction is a funny thing.
If you’re like many, you believe physical appearance is the driving force behind attractiveness. If you hold that belief, you’d be wrong.
While physical appearance plays a role, your thoughts and how you carry yourself are the dominant power behind attractiveness. You don’t have to be dressed in the latest trends or wear the right label to be attractive. You also don’t have to lose the pounds to attain your ideal body weight.
With the right mindset, you can unveil your natural beauty. Here are ten free ways how.
1. Be real.
A lot of people hide their true self by putting on false persona. When you do this, you not only obstruct your true self, you also create false relationships.
There’s no reason to hide your faults or pretend they don’t exist. Embrace your true qualities; no one expects you to be perfect.
Those who are true to themselves are inherently more attractive. Never be embarrassed of falling short. Being real means accepting who you are and loving yourself as a result. Only when you love yourself can you genuinely begin to love others. And as your self respect increases, so does your attractiveness – self respect is the best aphrodisiac there is.
2. Talk with purpose.
There’s something attractive about those who have a purpose with their words. Don’t simply talk for the sake of filler. When you talk, speak with authority.
“Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” - Abraham Lincoln
3. Listen.
In an increasingly opinionated world, the skill of genuinely listening has become a lost art. When you talk, really talk — and when you listen, really listen. Suspend judgment, and open your heart and mind to listen.
The person who really knows how to listen is magnetic.
4. Laugh.
Photo by milena mihaylova
When you laugh, you radiate an inner beauty. While it’s possible to overdo it, laughing is virtually always positive. Plus, a sense of humor is alluring. No one likes to be around a grouch.
5. Smile.
Combined with laughing, smiling is one of the easiest ways to radiate attractiveness. When you smile, you connect with everyone around you. Did you know the most successful individuals are the ones that smile the most? It’s true.
Plus, a smile is contagious. Your smile will help others smile.
6. Walk with your head up.
How do you walk — with your head down? A simple shift in the way you walk will do wonders in how you are seen by others. Confidence goes a long way. Look up and observe the beauty of the world, and in turn you will radiate it.
7. Look people in the eye.
The ability to look others in the eye displays a certain confidence. It also allows for a better connection with others. Practice making eye contact with those you’re around. Acknowledge them. Looking them in the eyes shows you care.
8. Don’t complain.
If you’re like the majority of people, a great deal of your thoughts and conversations involve complaining. Complaining is like a rocking chair. At first it feels comfortable and you feel like you’re accomplishing something, but you don’t end up getting anywhere. Do everything in your power not to complain.
Plus, it’s a fundamental truth that those who complain attract more situations to complain about. Instead, embrace each and every moment as a blessing. Don’t expect to glow if you choose to whine.
9. Feel attractive.
Photo by Reebs
How can you expect to be attractive if you don’t feel like you are? Each of us overflows with natural beauty. When you feel attractive, you release attractiveness.
Now, there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness — always avoid the latter. When you sincerely believe you are an attractive individual, those around you will think the same.
10. Be open.
People aren’t attracted to people who are closed off and inaccessible. Be open to authentic relationships and watch the connections unfold. We are all part of human race. When you allow others to connect with you, you instantly become more appealing. Be real, open and willing, and watch your authentic relationships manifest themselves.
You have a choice. You can express the elegance you already possess as a human being, or you can barely glimmer. You already have everything you need.
What are your tips for feeling more attractive?
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Great tips! One of my friends is kind of uptight and asked me for dating advice- I told her that if you make eye contact, smile, and be real (no games!) people will want to spend time with you. You added some more good things to the list- thanks!
Cat´s last blog ..A Loss
Oh – don’t complain, that one is huge! I agree, nothing makes someone more unattractive then constant complaining and whining.
What a great list!
Tabitha (From Single to Married)´s last blog ..Disciplining Children
It was great to read this bright and early (for me) this morning!
Good reminders as I start my day!
Leslie´s last blog ..Thift Store Finds!
It’s so true the way you feel about yourself sets the tone for how other people will react around you. My mom and dad said if you want to get to know someone keep your mouth shut, look them in the eye and really listen to what they have to say. Great post Corey.
Rana´s last blog ..Great Outdoor Challenge – Backyards and Playgrounds
Awesome post! These are all great ideas, which I try to live by. I’m not saying I don’t mess up, but I try hard to follow them. It’s a nice little reminder this morning. Thanks.
Great tips! When you use these tips it creates a confidence which makes you extremely attractive. I use most of these, but will work on the ones I don’t do well, thanks!
jeana´s last blog ..Reading List for me and the Boys
Amen, amen, amen! My main issue is the NOT feeling attractive. That, in turn, causes me to not smile, look people in the eye, and has a negative domino effect on most of those. I have to get over myself and get on with my life as a woman, mom, wife as God made me. Thanks for this post!
Great tips! All so true.
I don’t like the Lincoln quote though (erm.. making myself less attractive by complaining
) . Being a Psychologist I see so many patients who are afraid to “speak up” and tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves that they have to be “perfect” (i.e. say something REALLY smart) before they try to talk to someone.
Thank you for these tips! It’s easy for me to get in a complaining rut, but I try to be self-aware and stop it before it gets out of hand. And I have so much to be thankful for, which makes it all the sillier.
It’s so nice when you finally get to the point that you feel comfortable with yourself. I was always shy and self-conscious, but something changed from, I’d say, the ages of 25 to my current age of 32…wish I could pinpoint what brought on the confidence to help others.
Kelli´s last blog ..What’s New With Me?
And, according to my mother, lipstick fixes a bad hair day.
keri m.´s last blog ..what to do with All This Glass
“Don’t expect to glow if you choose to whine.” What a great line….the entire post is right on. Perhaps I’ll print it off and post it on the fridge to keep myself as attractive as possible?
Thanks!
-kristiina
Good posture covers a multitude of imperfections.
Excellent post!
Lee´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at
This is really a great and timely post, Corey. I appreciate hearing a guy’s perspective. I totally understand about not complaining, I mean who likes whiners, right? But what do you do when you’ve had a really hard day? Do you keep that stuff to your self or is there a positive way to be honest without complaining or unload at least some of that? Or is it more the attitude behind what you say?
vinajoy´s last blog ..Embracing My Everyday In Pictures
What a delightful article that deserves to be shared with friends. I’ll be posting it on WFAs Facebook. Thanks!
Kimara´s last blog ..Basic Doll Applique Block
sounds simple coming from a good looking lady. geez, louise. we arent all that lucky in this world.
What a great post. I think that we waste too much time wondering if we are attractive and comparing ourselves to others. The above sound like great ideas to me.
Changing your definition of what is attractive might be another thing to attempt.
Simple in France´s last blog ..Where would you be without debt?
This is all quite true. From a female perspective, I’ve noticed that when I am out shopping or whatever, the men who turn my head are the ones who have the confidence to “be real” and different in some way, regardless of their actual physical attractiveness. Perhaps this is just my personality, but I automatically like people who are unique, and I actually find it repellent to see a person who is slavishly following the fashion trends and apparently has no personality of their own.
Laura´s last blog ..Digital Detox Week.
I love this list. Everything is so simple. I know that I probably complain/whine a little too much, and I should smile more because when it comes down to it, I have a wonderful life. It is true that you are more attracted to people that are happy and you steer clear of the ones who are frowning.
Amanda G´s last blog ..Link Love :: Second Hand Furniture, a Recipe, and TV
This is one of my favorite posts ever. I’m bookmarking this to teach to my daughters!
Jess´s last blog ..Reclaiming this blog
Great ideas…and so true!
Thank you
Tania
Tania´s last blog ..Alternativas a las Nalgadas 2
I remember my older brother telling me when he was in junior high that the popular girls everyone thought were pretty weren’t any prettier than anyone else, they just acted like they were so everyone else did, too.
Pretty wise for a junior high boy!
Angela @ Homegrown Mom´s last blog ..I Don’t Believe in Athiests
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wonderful wonderful wonderful!
I love how these dwell on who we BE as people, rather than only what is seen.
april´s last blog ..Gratitude Community
Be confident and laugh and enjoy life! Your confidence will radiate and that attracts people. And if you can stop and enjoy life, well, I think you’ll ultimately be/feel more confident and it all goes full circle (if that makes sense).
Ricardo Bueno´s last blog ..The Power of Generosity
I think we also find, with age, that many of us are very attractive, but attractive in different ways. once we find the way in which we personally are, and allow ourselves to “feel attractive”, nothing can stop us. If we can’t be confident in who we are and what we look like, others will not see it either.
Positive attracts positive! The one about smiling is especially true! It brightens everyone’s day to see a smile.
Christy´s last blog ..Giveaway Ending Soon
#9 is so true!!! Like when you feel sick, so you work extra hard to look good instead of looking sick… before you realize it, you actually don’t feel sick. It is like tricky yourself (and others) into believing it!
Kelli @ 3 Boys and a Dog´s last blog ..Blogger Appreciation Day: April 2010
I totally agree with all the points mentioned in the post. When we really practise them we will come to know the actual results. Thanks for the post.
hi this post made my day sooo much better.. it’s like positive affirmation for the soul:)
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